The Good, the Bad, and the Ridiculous.......

It is good to see.....
The WWE try and push newcomers like Johnny the Bull, John Cena, and Batista. This makes sense in that usually there are quite a few "rookies" that make something of a big splash. This hasn't happened in the WWE since the Undertaker broke onto the scene, and even he wasn't a rookie. While none of these guys are true rookies either, it does make sense to have a few break away from the pack to show that rookies can make a difference too. It will also help in the long run, because it shows the WWE is willing to shake up their product to get results.

It is bad to see.....
HHH still has a lot of backstage push, and squashes angles for no apparent reason. Undertaker is still taking top billing while nobody really cares about him anymore. NWO was actually getting a push using the same wrestlers(X-Pac and Big Show) they had had before. Didn't make any sense to have them suddenly mean something because they had joined the NWO.

It is ridiculous to see......
Vince Russo lasted less than a week? Now, I'm not a big fan of Russo's by any stretch of the imagination, but if you're going to higher someone to shake up your programming, and he comes in with ideas to do just that, it is ridiculous to demote him after a day, and then he's out of the company in about a week or two. Doesn't make any sense, and it really questions Vince's sincerity to want change.

It is good to see.......
The NWA and Jarrett's. The WWE needs competition and they look to be the cloest thing wrestling fans have to seeing any type of competition. The WWE has been resting on its backside for far too long, and needs someone to come along and shake them up seriously. With the other promotions like XWF and the overseas one having problems here, the NWA may be the only thing that wrestling fans can watch if they don't like the WWE.

It is bad to see......
No NWA on television. This really wasn't the best way to go about things for the Jarrett's. XWF hasn't done anything, and will not do anything without a television contract in hand, and I think that is the best way to go. With NWA, they will not get casual fans because they will not be able to keep track, other than using the Internet, of what is going on.

It is ridiculous to see.....
Jerry Jarrett come out and say there really isn't a good way to hold ppvs, without television. Ummm, Jerry, I know I haven't been in the business or anything like that, but I think I could've seen that one coming(actually I did if you talk to my friends). Without television to build up ppvs, nobody is going to shell out even ten bucks a week to see something they have no idea about. Only die-hard fans who hate WWE are going to tune in regularly, and there aren't enough of those to sustain the company.

It is good to see......
Pushes to guys like Edge, Booker T, RVD, and the cruiserweights. While these guys aren't the ones putting the butts in the seats(yet), they do make or break you in the long run. They have the type of impact that can turn an ordinary ppv into something very special. How many ppvs were basically okay, except for the RVD or Edge match that lifted above average.

It is bad to see.....
Pushes to Kevin Nash, Big Show, X-Pac, Rikishi, and Hogan. I know, Hogan is still popular, and I do think they are using him better now as a tag wrestler(he'll help Edge too), but all of these guys had their push, now they should be pushing others. Nobody has ever liked X-Pac since he was the 1-2-3 Kid. Big Show was never used properly, if he was it would be different. Nash....c'mon? The guy can't move without getting hurt, he's out of shape, overweight, and doesn't want to do anything, so why on earth would you push him, other than on a mic?

It is ridiculous to see.......
No push for Jericho, Angle, Storm, Raven, Justin Credible, and the tag team division. First off, they should make Benoit and Guerrero a permanent tag-team, until they get better feuds. Then, they should have them dominate the division for months. Why you ask? Because the division is stupid right now. Billy and Chuck as tag champs for most of the year? Just stupid. Who the hell is the competition? They broke up most of the tag teams, but now they could make a whole bunch of new ones. The Edge/Hogan team is okay, but Benoit/Guerrero is great. They should just take over. Jericho disappeared after he was champ, and he was the best one they've had all year. All the others have been ineffective since they were champs and get into very boring angles. Jericho was interesting, and he should be pushed back near the top as soon as this little feud with Cena is over. Speaking of Angle, he should be champ after Vengence, and should hold the belt for some time. He's the best worker they have, he's from Pittsburgh, and he can carry damn near anyone to a great match. Raven was back in shape and looking like he did from his old ECW days. They should have him come back in an angle where he just beats the hell out of anyone or everyone for no reason what so ever. A modern day Piper, if you will. He could do it, has the charisma and knowledge to do it. And, he'd be very good at it.

Just a few more random thoughts.....
While it was sad to see Austin go, I think it will make the WWE stronger in the long run. Hopefully, others in the sport will realize that they need each other, and the more they push each other to good programs, the better off they all will be. Afterall, how many times can we see HHH/Undertaker? Rock/Angle? Hogan/anyone? The feuds get boring without any new blood, and some has started to be injected into the WWE, and some of those stars should start shining brightly very soon. Sure, they'll have some wrestlers that won't connect with the audience, but for every one of those, you may strike a Lesnar or a Cena. It will be worth it, if for no other reason than to keep the show going. If you stop producing stars, you'll stop having interesting feuds.

Bringing Eric Bishoff back was a major shocker. Bringing Stephanie back was not. Making her a babyface was a huge shocker however. She has never been very popular. The only time she was of any interest in the role of babyface was when the Undertaker abducted her. But she was the sweet innocent little girl back then. Not the boob-jobbed slut she has been portraying the last several years. Turning a guy back and forth between face and heel is tough enough sometimes. Doing it with a woman is even tougher. I will say seeing her square off against Bishoff should make for some very interesting television, and it will be refreshing to watch those two rather than Vince. It could give the WWE the soap opera feel they have been missing for a long time. Although I enjoy wrestling no matter what, and really enjoy it when they focus primarily on the wrestling, there are many that do not agree.

The WWE is in a business and they have to appeal to all of their fans; whether they are casual or hardcore. This is a tricky tight-rope to walk, because no matter what you do, you will eventually upset someone. Not everyone is going to be happy. That is why I suggested in my last column to have each show be a different type of show altogether. Have one be the typical T&A show. Have one be mostly bits in the back, and another be a wrestling show. The fans will find the ones they like and tune in. You'll grab a lot of people, probably still upset some but not as many as you are now, and try it. If it works, great....if not move on to another idea and fire me as your creative conslutant.

Lastly, the WWE needs to get rid of the dead wood. I don't care if a wrestler is popular or not, because this is above all of them. Wrestling has survived years without Bruno, Andre, Gorilla, Jesse, and it will continue without Rock, Hogan, Austin, HHH, Undertaker, or whoever else comes down the line. Vince needs to use the Austin thing as a lesson for anyone not willing to play ball. He needs to tell them he's in charge, and while their opinion will(and should) be listened to, he still has final word. Ignoring the wrestlers ideas is just plain wrong, because they have as much;if not more, to lose than Vince and they want to put on good programs. However, if they are complaining about not wanting to do this or that, get rid of them. If Molly doesn't like an idea.....fire her. If Nash doesn't like something, fire him. Period the end. People will get the message, and it will be run like a business, and maybe they'll be better able to put out a good product. Until the WWE isn't run like a dorm room, however, I see major problems still ahead for them.

So, until the WWE knocks on my door and asks me to judge the first nude Diva contest(btw:Stacey would still win).....keep reading...
Sincerely, The Novak Notebook.

When I first started

At Karma's site, my very first column was about Eric Bishoff's return to wrestling and whether or not he would be able to pull WCW out of the wreckage he had helped create and bring it back to a place of power. That was my first column, really. You can look it up if you want too.

Anyway, the question is basically still the same this time around, only for a very different company. The WWE. Not the WCW, or even the WWF.....but the WWE, who is still trying to create an identity of its own.

The question is this. Can the presence of Eric Bishoff help turn around not only sagging ratings, but sagging attendance figures as well as fan interest in the sport entertainment business?

In some ways this is a much tougher task for Bishoff than the previous question. In other ways, the task is much easier for Bishoff than it was over at WCW.

We all know what happened when Eric Bishoff came back to WCW. At first there was a lot of fan interest in him, but it quickly faded. He is not a wrestler, and he wasn't nearly as charismatic nor cartoonish as Vince McMahon during this time period. His teaming with Vince Russo didn't help matters much, and he was basically seen as a more boring rip-off of something being done over at WWF much better. He was much different than he had been during the glory days of the NWO, and he just wasn't compelling television. So viewers saw him, yawned, and quickly forgot about him.

This time around he is much different. He cannot rest on his laurels, even though he is coming in banking on people remembering who he was. He has to re-create himself, and this actually gives him an advantage. He can make himself much more interesting than he ever was in the WCW, even during those NWO glory days. So far he has done an excellent job at keeping interest on himself when he is on television, and viewers are left wondering what slimy thing he's going to do next. He is much more interesting and polished than he was over in WCW, and he is a much needed change of pace from Vince McMahon. He has big heel heat and seems to be relishing it with every sentence he speaks.

Whether people want to admit it or not, wrestling has become much more interesting and watchable with Eric Bishoff on board. The Eric v. Stephanie feud is great television and it is amusing to watch as the WWE tries to turn Stephanie into a face by simply having Eric act more slimy than her. I think they realize they will never be able to win the fans over completely with Stephanie, so they have merely asked Eric to make her look like the lesser of two evils. And so far, Bishoff is more than up for that challenge.

For Bishoff, he doesn't have the creative control nor the power he had over at WCW, which limits him to what he can and cannot do. He is simply talent at this point. While this may hinder him at some points, and even possibly squash some really good ideas, this may not be a bad thing. His overblown ego, along with his willingness to lose all common sense when it came to contract negotiations were some of the main reasons WCW started to slide in the first place. Bishoff came up with some very good ideas, and had some excellent television for three or four good years over in WCW, which is one of the big reasons he's important to wrestling today. He helped create the atmosphere with which we watch live wrestling events every Monday night. If it wasn't for him, it would all still be taped, and we would know the results three days in advanced. Also by not having creative control or power, Bishoff doesn't have the responsibilities he had over in WCW. If something blows up, it really isn't his fault. He can have a horrible run, and make himself look ridiculous, but in the end the program that ends up on TV is Vince McMahon's responsibility. He's the boss, and everything has to go through him. Eric is part of the team right now, and if he doesn't play ball, they'll send him home with his tail between his legs. If he plays ball, he could make things very interesting in the world of professional wrestling for a few years.

The other thing Eric Bishoff brought back with him was the surprise factor. It had been missing off of WWE television for some time, and now it's everywhere. If Vince can bring Bishoff in, what won't he do? That is the question and that also keeps people tuning in every week to see what will happen next. They have made wrestling fun and exciting again, and they also added the element of never missing a show, otherwise you may truly miss something. That element had been sorely lacking for some time.

Bishoff does come with a lot of baggage, and he'll have to overcome that if he wants to be successful and stick around for the long run. He has made an impact, of that there is no doubt. Wrestling was solid before he showed up, but now they've thrown in everything but the kitchen sink. Wiping out Lillian Garcia(I wouldn't have minded giving her mouth to mouth ;-) and Moolah and May were great. They were shocking, horrifying, yet it is going to keep audiences watching. If Bishoff is willing to wipe out two senior citizens and a beautiful young woman, what won't he do? Will anyone stop him? How will Steph compete? It is great to see all of this happen, and I for one am glad to see Bishoff get another chance. There are many who don't like him, many more who hate him, many wrestlers who don't want to work for him, but he deserves better. He pushed McMahon to the limit for three years plus, and he built a solid legacy in the world of professional wrestling. He did not deserve to go out in the whimper that WCW went out. Like many of the wrestlers of that company, he deserved much better. Thanks to Vince McMahon, he's getting that opportunity. Now we'll see what happens, and if Eric can try and save wrestling once again.
So, until Dawn Marie gets splashed by the Island Boys and needs mouth to mouth, calling my name......keep reading.....sincerely
.....the Novak Notebook.

Selling...

It is an inside term, but very vital to the sports entertainment area. If someone does not sell, then the act of a wrestling match is lost, and the fans turn away in disgust.

In this day and age of ladder matches, barbed wire matches, hardcore matches, cage matches selling sometimes comes naturally. Getting beat up and smacked around and thrown off of cages can make selling rather easy. Blood in your eyes and trying to gasp to get breath in and out of your body makes it look good for the fans, and makes it appear it was a hard fought match.

But it is also one of the major problems going into a lot of matches. People with injuries, and older wrestlers still trying to keep up get in the ring and try and sell, but it doesn't look good and fans notice.

It is difficult to criticize the older wrestlers and ones trying to work through injuries. Imagine how you feel going into work each and every day. Sometimes you aren't at one hundred percent, and it shows up in your work. You walk around at work sick and try to make it through the day, and you're so relieved when the day is over. You're lucky if you get home and collapse on the bed.

Now imagine if your job listed getting thrown across the ring, kicked, punched, body slammed, jumping off the top rope, and many other things. Imagine if you weren't one hundred percent. You didn't feel like going out and performing, but you know the fans paid their money and some of them wanted to see you. Now how do you feel? It can be tough for a wrestler to walk away when he's not one hundred percent due to competition, feeling the need to perform for the fans, ego or whatever. It can be understandable why some of these guys continue, yet it does create problems for the fans.

Looking around, there are many culprits around who have problems making their opponents look good. Kevin Nash only makes men look good when he collapses in pain. Hulk Hogan hasn't made anyone looks good for a long time. He jobbed for the Rock as a way to pass the torch, but he still did his Hulk thing while doing it.

For every Chris Benoit who makes everything his opponent does to him look painful, there is an Undertaker. His was an interesting journey however. His whole gimmick started out as a no-sell. He would get pounded on, beat down, and his opponent would do their finishing move and he would pop out and start his attack. Like everyone else at the time, I got caught up in it and always waited for his "Hulk Up". It was great, but I believe the reason he got away with it for so long was because he was a gifted athlete. He did things at the time that no big man could do, and he was amazing to watch. Now, he's just an older wrestler trying to play out the rest of his career. He still doesn't sell very well, but the problem is he's not nearly as athletic as he once was. He's getting away with living on his reputation, and it does cost some of the young wrestlers. He criticizes Rob Van Damm for not selling properly, and yet there he is healing after two seconds.

Probably the best sellers out there right now are Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Jeff Hardy, Trish Stratus, and Kurt Angle.

The worst sellers are Hulk Hogan, HHH, Undertaker, Kevin Nash, The Rock(lately), Brock Lesnar, and many others.

Selling is more than making something your opponent did look painful. It is much more than that. It is also remembering what your opponent did later in the match, and acting like you haven't completely recovered from it. You're still feeling pain and having problems in the match. That is what Undertaker said he didn't like about Rob Van Damm about his matches. He recovered way too quickly. He might be right, and Rock has been doing a lot of that lately, after overselling everything else during the match. However, at least Van Damm makes an attempt to make what his opponent did look like it hurt him terribly. Undertaker doesn't even get that far.

Some of the best that I have seen of all time are the likes of Ric Flair, Mick Foley and Bret Hart. Kurt Angle is quickly making his way up that ladder, and Benoit would already be there except he hasn't been in too many main events. They were the masters at making their opponents look good, and all of them were able to carry any opponent they wrestled. Disagree? Look at the matches Hogan has had with Angle, and how they weren't all that bad. It certainly wasn't Hogan's doing, but it was Angle making him look good.

The ability to make your opponent look good is an important part of selling. Watching Kurt Angle slip under the ropes to break the ten count is one of those little things that remind us there actually is a referee and there actually is a match taking place. Without this, every match should just be a Hardcore match. All of the men mentioned above had the pedigree and background to remember this and they instilled it into their programs. That's why while many think of their matches as boring or lacking something, all of them held multiple titles simply because it created excitement in main event matches.

More and more of the younger wrestlers need to watch Ric Flair and Kurt Angle and how they work a match. It is a thing of beauty, and a pure joy to watch them put together a good program. Only Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels could've created the excitement they did during their one hour match. It was great with NO pinfalls during the whole damn thing. Now, flash forward a few years to the HHH v. Rock one hour match. While it was a decent match, it didn't have nearly the drama the Hart/Michaels match. HHH can't sell and Rock oversells everything. It was nice but they needed to break it up by having pinfalls. If the younger wrestlers watch some of these matches, they could make everything look so much better. They may never have the one hour matches they used to, but it could make for compelling television.

So until Stacy Kiebler sells for me sometime, keep reading
.....sincerely the Novak Notebook.

Not to get off on

A rant here (hey I just finished listening to Dennis Miller, so give me a break) but there are a few things that puzzle me, along with a few things I'd like to get off my chest.

First and foremost, I like Brock Lesnar winning the title. It gives the Heavyweight division a breath a fresh air and makes it much more interesting and compelling. My chief complaint is, why does his first major challenge have to be the Undertaker. I mean is this guy going to be a main eventer until he's 100? Brock has already gotten wins over the Rock and Hogan, so he has some legit wins that put him in the upper echelon of wrestling.

Okay, the Undertaker. While I admit the man is well past his prime, he is a victim of his own past success. Let's face it, compared to Hogan or Nash, he still moves around quite well for a big guy. However, those of us who remember him the way he was, he has slid a long way. He never did sell anyone else's moves, but it was more exciting in the old days when he would just pop up and start his attack. Now, it just looks silly for someone to throw everything at him but the kitchen sink, and he shrugs it all off. He's better than most big men, but unfortunately, wear and tear along with age have taken there toll on the phenom.

Great to see Kane back, but what is the deal with the mask? Couldn't they have made it at least a different color. Maybe he could become the big green machine or something.

Cruiserweights will never get the respect they deserve. Let's admit it and move on. They aren't the reason people are going to wrestling events, and they aren't the ones selling the tickets. They are the ones that give the best performances day in and day out, and fans who have been watching for a long time appreciate them, but listen to the loudest ovation Rey Mysterio gets and then listen to any number the Rock have gotten and you'll see that the cruiserweights will never be main eventers.

Kurt Angle is the best wrestler going right now. Period.

Chris Benoit and RVD are ready to take the next step and be main eventers. All they need is the chance. Both have proven time and again they can wrestle with the big boys and always put on good shows. If the WWE can turn Jericho into a main eventer then they can do the same thing with the Crippler and RVD.

Speaking of Benoit, why is it he leaves WCW to come to the WWF. He dumps his just won WCW Heavyweight title in the garbage to go over to the WWF. Then he gets a huge push in the WWF, but no titles. Then he disappears for awhile in mid card feuds. Gets another push and the Intercontinental title, brings honor back to that title, and then looks ready to make the next step, only to get hurt. Comes back to have feud with Austin, Austin loses mind and disappears in the back of a white Ford Bronco (oops, sorry another guy). Gets placed with Eddie Guerrero in tag team division, but no titles. Now he's wrestling for the Intercontinental title again. When is this guy going to move up the ladder? The WWE should be doing it and soon.

Within the next three years or so, I see the top five guys in the WWE moving from the likes of Hogan, Undertaker, HHH, Rock, Austin to the guys like Edge, Angle, Benoit, RVD, and Guerrero. Others will try and break in the top five but it is going to be difficult. If Angle doesn't leave for the Olympics, he should be the linchpin in the WWE for a long time.

What is up with the Big Show? Does anyone know how to use him?

Speaking of Big, McMahon has always prided himself on big champions and larger than life personalities. While some of this makes sense, and makes for compelling television, McMahon is way off. Vince knows how to use guys like Hogan, Savage, Undertaker and the like. But he has no idea how to use monsters. Guys like Vader, Andre, and now Big Show have been so grossly misused all these years, and McMahon has a history of doing this. King Kong Bundy, Earthquake, Kamala, and many others should have been monsters and ruled the wrestling world. Instead they were used in such a manner instantly, and quickly dispensed of and turned into jokes.

Look at Kane now. He's not a monster, he's a comedian. The Kanearooni? What the hell is that? While it's a good idea to refresh a character every once in awhile (especially one that doesn't talk such as Kane), it doesn't make any sense to turn them into a joke. Do you realize X-Punk has wins, yes wins, over Kane and Vader??? This doesn't make any sense at all. He should've been gotten rid of in the same manner Nash got rid of Mysterio when he first got on the scene in WCW (turn him into a lawn dart). These guys should be destroying things, not losing to cruiserweights.

The only exception to above rule is Spike Dudley. He doesn't belong in the cruiserweight division, because he works so well in the heavyweight division. He makes squashes look painful. He's about our size, and makes one realize that not just anyone can step in there and perform.

Say what you want about Rey Mysterio and the stupid name given his move the 6-1-9. It is a much better move than that ridiculous bucking bronco move he stole from X-Pac, which wasn't a good move to begin with. He has come back with a fury, and is better than he has been in a long time.

Chris Jericho losing to Ric Flair is just so wrong. Unless they do a WCW angle where Jericho loses his mind or something, there was no point for that, and he would've been much better served in another feud.

The Undertaker changed leagues! Oh wait, he just switched shows.

On that note, can you name all of the top stars on each show without a program? I didn't think so.

I like what they're doing with Matt Hardy, even though I have no idea what it is.

What is it McMahon is thinking about calling everyone in the WWE a superstar? I don't understand this logic, and flies in the face of any reason whatsoever. It makes it difficult for an announcer to tell the viewer the difference between an up and coming star, a star, and a superstar when they're all called superstars. They aren't. Jim Ross has to go into an eight hour long diatribe about the difference between someone like the Rock and someone like Chuck Palumbo. They are not on equal footing, and they are not both superstars. But if you label them the same, the casual audience has a hard time telling the difference. As of right now guys like Maven, Justin Credible, and anyone else who wrestles regularly on Velocity isn't even a star. Chris Nowinski, Batista, John Cena are up and coming stars. William Regal, Test, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman are stars. Rock, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, and Edge are superstars. Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, and Undertaker are legends. Here endeth the lesson.

I applaud the WWE for advancing the women's' division and making it semi-serious (after all, with a mud match here and there, it can't be serious all the time). These are not just pretty women, but they are eager to learn the craft of wrestling and putting on a good show. Trish Stratus has come such a long way since her laughable beginnings, and hopefully this trend will continue. I wouldn't want to watch women wrestling all the time (unless they were over in my apartment arguing over me), but I like watching a match once a week, and they usually put on an entertaining show.

Speaking of legends, what is with the WWE lately? Moolah? Mae Young? Jimmy Snuka? Howard Finkle in an angle? I don't get it. What was the point of all of these ideas except to show off the Island Boys? While watching them crush Moolah and Mae Young was both exciting and horrifying (admit it, you were wondering whether they would get up or not) at the same time, these three minute segments would be better served if Bishoff used them to kill boring matches. Instead of having them squash non-wrestlers, have them do what they did with D-Von and Stasiak. It's a bad match, and they're going to kill it. It would make sense, and make them all the more impressive for going after actual wrestlers, rather than ones who have been retired for a decade or Lillian Garcia. They proved they're ruthless, now they have to prove they can go after wrestlers.

Overall, right now the WWE is on an up swing if you ask me. I think the writing is tighter and much more interesting than it has been. Switching from one program to the other doesn't do anything for me, and they should either go back to wrestling everywhere, or just stick with a program and that's it. Also, the tag titles and Intercontinental title need to be competed for on both shows, along with the Heavyweight title.

The tag team division could be real good right now (Venis/Holly, Guerrero/Benoit, Island Boys, Billy/Chuck, Un-Americans, to name a few) but it is way under utilized. It will be interesting to see how the WWE survives after losing Rock and Austin in the same year. The younger guys will have to step it up and quickly. Shawn Michaels is awesome, and if that was his last match, it was one to be remembered for a long time. If it wasn't, here's hoping for many more.

Well, that about wraps it up from this end of the computer. So until next time, when we'll discuss the economic downturn and its effects on the Euro dollar......
keep reading
....sincerely, the Novak Notebook.

Before the Novak Notebook

Heads up to Upper state New York for a much deserved vacation, he has been pondering many different things. Whether I touch on all the subjects here today or save a few for a later article, I'm not sure. We'll let it loose and see where it flies.

The ratings for WWE have been much discussed and everyone and their mother (including yours truly) thinks they have the answer that will bring the multitudes back and put coffers in the bins of the McMahon's once more. How much we're right is never really clear, because whenever a writer from this site or another sees their idea come to play in WWE, we always point out that it's nice but we would've done it a little differently, and hence better than the way Vince did it.

Let's face facts. Right now, everything and anything Vince McMahon does right now is under scrutiny. His ratings are low, and that is always the perfect time in American society to kick someone. When they are as low as they can go. This isn't a case of Vince not trying different things anymore. That was an argument for close to a year after WCW folded and he didn't have any direct competition. Everyone was saying Vince was just sitting back and not trying anymore, because essentially he had won.

Vince is trying different things right now. He is letting younger talent rise to the top. Cena, Lesnar, Hurricane, Noble, Batista, and Harvard are on the rise and getting more and more air-time to let their characters grow. Also he has kept the shows separate. Many people thought the idea wouldn't last very long and soon, it would be back to one company and everyone would wrestle everywhere. He has given each show a different general manager, and in turn each show has a different identity. He has brought in an "enemy" in Eric Bishoff to try and get people to watch. He's brought back T&A, he's added more and more matches. You name it and Vince is trying it. So, Vince not trying is not an answer anymore.

What is the answer? How's this for a novel approach; there is no answer. You can say the economy, you can say El Nino, you can blame the Stock Market, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Roddy's new book, Mick Foley leaving, or any number of things. The truth is, there is no one real answer as to why the numbers are falling for the WWE. The one thing I am pretty sure of however is this; they will come back again.

People said that wrestling was dead and was nothing more than a blip on the radar screen of entertainment after the boom years of the eighties. With dumb gimmicks and even dumber story lines in the early nineties, wrestling was killing itself off slowly but surely. Then something happened that changed everything around. The NWO. After that, WCW became a player, WWF picked itself up by the bootstraps and realized it had competition, and wrestling started to become mainstream once again.

This is just another downslide. One problem is you don't have the competition you once had. Vince has tried to create that by adding Eric Bishoff against Stephanie, but most fans know that this is a show and isn't real competition. The wrestlers from each show probably do try and outdo the ones from the other show, but it isn't like it was during the days of the WWF v. WCW. It's friendly competition, kind of like scrimmages at football camps. Hardly the same intensity.

Another problem is that there are many out there who just do not like Vince McMahon. There is really nothing he can do about this, but I know three people personally who loved to watch wrestling who won't tune in anymore simply because he's the only game in town. A few years ago, they could watch WCW and ECW, and then maybe catch a WWF match here and there. They not only dislike Vince, they have a disdain for him, and therefore no matter what Vince does, he's not going to win over those fans at all. Him being proclaimed a billionaire didn't help his standings with these people either.

I also think that Smackdown is a bit of a problem, as well as RAW. They are problems but for very different reasons. Smackdown is not on cable, and competes directly against shows like Friends and Frasier or whatever. This is Vince's new competition and he's going to get his brains beat out each and every time. When there were other wrestling organizations, those were his competition. Now that there aren't any, his competition is other network shows. He looks weak by comparison. Sure he is frequently rated the number one show on UPN, but that is about as high an honor as saying Police Academy 4 was better than the three that followed it. There isn't much on UPN to brag about outside of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer (which they stole from the WB network), so Smackdown usually doesn't have much to worry about. Vince coming out and saying he was looking forward to taking on Friends and other network shows just plain looked silly.

RAW's move from USA to TNN hurt more than what I think the WWE is willing to admit. The whole point of the move was to get Smackdown on the air, plus later on the XFL. While Smackdown has done its job, the XFL was a major disaster that Vince is still recovering from. Most people don't know where TNN is on their dial, they don't watch anything else on there, and their commercials are stupid. TNN is in a lot less homes, and some people were unable to follow wrestling from USA to TNN, and felt cheated by McMahon.

Another thing that hurts Vince is the house shows. This isn't as bad, but this is where a group like ECW made their mark. I went to many house shows from ECW and was never disappointed. They were thrilling and exciting and everyone always put on a great show. The WWE doesn't do that and in fact, a lot of the bigger names appear at very few house shows. So, unless a city gets the privilege of hosting a particular ppv, you may not get the chance to see your favorite WWE superstar for some time. Vince is trying to turn this around, but is having little affect.

There are many other things that are not helping the WWE right now. One of them may be, who's the number one face? It is always changing. At first I thought that was a great thing, but now it may appear that isn't the case. During the WWFs heyday, they had one man at the top of the mountain. Hulk Hogan. All roads ran through Hulkamania. Sure the Ultimate Warrior came along, as did Bret Hart, and Piper at one point was more popular than Hogan as was Savage, but Hogan was still the man.

Same was true in WCW with Ric Flair. They were colorful, larger than life, hated by some loved by many. Now who do you have? Austin, then Rock, the HHH, move on to Undertaker, then Mankind slips in, back to Austin, skip over Rock to HHH, then to Rock, and Shawn Michaels was in there as well, not to mention many others. Some of these guys you root for because they're better than the "bad guys" but some of them don't change when they go from good to bad. They just play to the fans more. Nash and Hall started that with the NWO glory days, when they were heels but still played to the fans, stealing the faces thunder. There just seems to be no progression of characters, no advancement of careers, and therefore fans get bored with their favorite superstars a lot sooner.

This leads into my next issue which is way too many ppvs. How many of these matches would've been great for Saturday Night's Main Event, but suck when they're put on time after time on ppv. You don't mind watching some of these matches for free, but to pay $35 to see them makes your stomach turn. With more ppvs, you can't have classic feuds that develop over time and culminate in one classic battle that fans have been dying to see. Instead you get a month, or if you're lucky possibly three months of matches and then both men move on. At the end you're left shaking your head, going who really cares.

Think about all the classic feuds. Hogan v. Piper. Savage v. Jake the Snake. Shawn Michaels v. Bret Hart. Flair v. Sting. Sammartino v. Morales. All are classics and rank right up there with Yankees v. Red Sox, Packers v. Bears, Lakers v. Celtics, or any other feuds from any other sports. They were memorable, never lopsided (which is why Jericho v. HHH will never be a classic feud) and you felt as if they truly hated each other. Austin v. Rock....c'mon these guys ended up teaming with each other. HHH v. Undertaker? How many has HHH won? Nothing today compares with the feuds they used to establish and carry out to perfection. They need to start and end a feud within a month, which doesn't leave much time to tell a story. Therefore, the fans watch but don't get really attached. They can always tune in to something else.

Here's something else that hasn't been considered in this debate. There are too many other things to do for people nowadays than there used to be. Cable television is 900 channels with nothing on. You still have books and papers and whatever. But a die hard sports fan can watch ESPN or ESPN2, Fox sportsnet, or a million other sports channels and find something on they might find more interesting. Those options weren't as widely available in the eighties and early nineties as they are now. Not to mention computers, explosions in the video game markets, cellar phones (everyone seems to have one and calling someone all the time), and kids have too many other options now. They don't have to sit in front of the tv to watch wrestling. They can rent DVDs or videos to watch wrestling, or something else. They can get on the computer and find out what happened on Smackdown two days before it is shown on television. They can go out and play a million more organized sports than were available ten or twenty years ago. So Vince has all that to compete with as well.

In conclusion, I don't think there are any true areas to place blame on why wrestling is falling through the floor. It isn't any one person, nor one idea. Vince is trying and trying many different things. He's trying to reach as broad an audience as he can with the hot stuff, as well as the actual wrestling and backstage stuff. Remember that the next time you groan when a skit comes on that makes you roll your eyes. You may not like it, but chances are someone somewhere does. I do think it will turn around however, because it seems like everytime wrestling is pronounced dead it comes back bigger and better than ever. Vince has been in this business too long to suddenly not know what he is doing.

There are simple facts he must face. He's not going to win over every wrestling fan, and he's not going to please everyone. He can try, but it will work to varying degrees. He just needs to focus on what he thinks the strong points to his company are, be the visionary he has been at times, and stay ahead of the game. If he does that, wrestling should be around for many more years to come.....so until the Rowdy One comes to my door asking me if I want a personal autographed copy of his book.....keep reading
...sincerely the Novak Notebook.

While I have been watching

The WWE in recent weeks, I have been noticing a trend. Well, okay, I actually didn't notice it until this past week, when it really hit me over the head like a two ton car. The WWE has been doing something it really seemed to be avoiding as of late, and it took awhile to notice. In this abbreviated version of the Notebook, I will try and examine what the WWE is doing.

The WWE in recent weeks has been telling stories! Imagine that, they have actually been putting on programs that involve plot and continuity. I couldn't believe it myself and thought it was a mere fluke that slipped through the system, but lo and behold, the WWE has been doing it for a few weeks now. While it started out as subtle, the last few weeks the WWE has assumed the mass of people watching their programs weren't getting it, so they didn't exactly try and disguise what they were doing. They basically bludgeoned people over the head with the story-telling.

In case you haven't noticed, there is not one, not two, not three, not even four stories going on. There is plenty going on, and even some stories inside of stories. It is amazing that the WWE went from not really telling stories to Kane's semen ending up somewhere where we thought it would never get; on cable television. While some people may find Torrie Wilson's dad groping Dawn Marie(although admit it, if you had a shot, wouldn't you?) offensive, at least the WWE is admitting they were not getting anything over because the stories were disposable. It merely went from one month to the next, and no one feud was any better than any other ones.

Have you kept count lately. The Victoria/Trish Stratus thing now has a back story. Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson. HHH/Kane. Undertaker/wife(cheating). Brock Lesnar/Matt Hardy. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle. Nidia/ Jamie Noble. And the list goes on, I'm sure.

They have missed a few boats though. I really liked the Anti Americans thing, and I think it should've gone on for awhile. I'm not quite sure what they're doing with it right now, but it looks like they're trying to break it up. They've added Chris Jericho to the mix, although he's Canadian and would fit perfectly with them. I wish they would make him the leader, and keep them together but I don't get to make that decision.

Another thing they really seemed to mess up is RVD. He's probably the most popular athlete they have going, outside of maybe Edge and Undertaker. They keep rising him a little at a time to the top, and then they turn around and bury the guy. I don't get it. He's fighting Ric Flair in the ppv tomorrow, and that doesn't make any sense at all. I'd rather see him in a great mid card match with Chris Jericho than fighting Flair. He gets nothing by beating Flair. Everyone and Judy Bagwell has beaten Flair lately. Nobody cares. Why they don't push him to main event and keep him there is beyond me. It's obvious they don't have many main eventers. Outside of HHH, Undertaker, and Lesnar who are they pushing to the top? Kane has semen problems and they stuck two other potential main eventers in Angle and Benoit in an interesting angle for the tag belts.

Here's hoping they revive the tag team division because they have some potential for some really good teams. They are eliminating all the singles belts except the two heavyweight titles along with the cruiserweight one. While I applaud getting rid of belts like the European and Hard-core titles of the world, I would like to see them keep two others who had a rich history. The Intercontinental and US Titles. These belts were held by many great athletes and were usually the stepping stones to getting to the top. Men like Savage, Austin, Hart, Michaels, Rock all held the Intercontinental belt to test them out with gold, to see if they would float. Once they succeeded, they went to main event status as a natural next step. Without the belt, one is just supposed to come out of nowhere and become heavyweight champ? Whose next? Maven? David Arquette?(oh we already had that, sorry)

The same holds true for the US Title. Many great fights were fought over that belt as well. Flair would hold that title, while someone else was champ. Piper v. Valentine was never about the Heavyweight title, but about the US Title. Booker T held that belt before he became the Spinarooni King. And who can forget Lance Storm holding that along with two other titles all at the same time?

I love the new story lines, even though I may not agree with all of them. While I would trade everything I could get my hands on to switch places with Torrie Wilson's dad in that shower, not all of their story lines are going to be hits. But that is to be expected. The point is, they are shaking things up and that is not a bad thing, that is a good thing. They need to have good story lines to keep fans coming back, wondering what is going to happen next, rather than just waiting until the ppv and watch some more fights.

I also love the news the WWE may return more to the tag matches they had originally in the old Survivor Series days. These were good matches, and you could start new feuds that way. They were fun and usually turned out pretty good. It got more people involved in the ppv, and could elevate someone who was low on the card to a bit higher by placing them on a good team.

Right now the WWE is taking steps, and they seem to be good steps. While I may not agree with eliminating all the belts the world has to offer, I do like the direction they seem to be taking. They look like they have some pretty good ideas and are willing to run with them. All we can do is wait and see where they go from here.....so until I get elected President of Guam and make every day topless at work day
.....keep reading....Sincerely, the Novak Notebook.

Hmmm, what is going on in

The world of Professional Wrestling? Well, there's a few things happening, and since I really don't have one particular topic I would like to talk about, I'll discuss a few of them.

First off, everyone and their mother (or grandmother in the case of Moolah) is writing a book. Since the success of Mick Foley and the Rock, everyone else is writing a book to see if they can top the charts as well. Take a look at some of the people writing, or having written a book. Chyna, Rock, Mick Foley, Kurt Angle, Moolah, Diamond Dallas Page, Goldberg, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan, not to mention the books written about wrestling and about the stars in the ranks of professional wrestling. The real question is, how many of these books are remotely interesting?

Most of the books offered by the WWE press are mostly boring. Let's be honest, Mick Foley's first book was really good and interesting until he got to the WWF in his story. Then, it was like a love-fest as he praised the WWF up and down and all over the rest of the book. It took the wind out of the book, and made it more propaganda for the WWF than anything else. Still, it was the most interesting book put out by any of the wrestlers yet. I think the reason for that is that Mick Foley actually wrote it. He didn't have any help, and it was funny, telling, and it was through him. It wasn't told by him to someone else, and they rewrote it.

That being said, the Roddy Piper and Bobby Heenan books are the next books that would be on the list as most interesting. Neither book is sponsored by the WWF, so they can tell their stories without fear of repercussions from the WWF. Bobby Heenan's book is a little more praising of the WWF than Piper's. Yet throughout Piper's book, he has a hard time admitting that wrestling is fake. Heenan even points that out in his book that Piper has a hard time with fans who think wrestling is fake.

Both books give a great behind the scenes look at what really happens and whose who behind the curtain. Both men have a long and very prolific career in the world of professional wrestling, and it is refreshing to hear from them about a lot of different subjects.

I haven't read a lot of the Heenan book yet, so I won't comment about it. The Piper book, I've read quite a bit so far. I have some wonderful things to say about it, and have some complaints as well.
First off, Piper praised a number of people, including Hogan and McMahon. He talked quite a bit about the people who were important in his life and what it took to get there. He shows how tough it could be to make anything of yourself in the streets, yet he also shows how many people it took to give him breaks in the world of professional wrestling. He's very humble at points in the book, yet the old Piper bravado comes out when it needs to at certain points as well. It is a pretty well balanced book, and a very good read.
My only complaints about the whole thing is that he really doesn't go into a lot of detail about his whole stay in the WWF. Why he left is very fuzzy, and why he came back is not even talked about. He barely discusses the WCW days after he left the WWF, and how it was decided that he would feud with Hogan right away. He really didn't talk a lot about what is shoot and what is work, especially in his Piper Pits. He talks some about not really having many scripts, but it was still difficult to get ahold of what was going on at the time. He doesn't go into the feuds, how they were decided, or anything else of that nature.
I love the fact that he talks about the old days, because those are the days most fans are apt to not remember. His travels were long and hard, and he shows it. I would've loved to see more pictures of his illustrious career, and most of the shots in his book were photos that are easily available. I would've loved to see more photos like the first one of him in his younger days. It was nice to finally see photos of his family, because I always wondered what they were like. On top of that, he really didn't discuss how he managed to balance family and career during his busiest days. How many times they would travel with him, how he would make it up to them, things like that. Overall, it was a good book, and my chief complaint was that it should've been longer. It is a great value and a wonderful lead if you want to get a glimpse at the look at the career of a legend. It would've been nice to get a little deeper, and a little longer, but overall something every wrestling fan should pick up.

*********************************************************

>>I love the feud they're developing between Benoit and Angle. >>It is waaaay too late to develope the Big Show as a monster. He's been buried for far too many years to make hi believable threat to Lesnar's title. Besides that, the WWE did the WRONG thing by having Lesnar cave in the Big Show's skull days before Survivor Series.

>>Jericho as a tag team title holder? What ever happened to being King of the World?

>>Did Stephanie look hot in that witches outfit, or was it just me? >>Speaking of Swelling Steph, I can't believe she wants to get even bigger breasts!! She can harldy walk right now.

>>Matt Hardy is not nearly the wrestler that his brother is, but he has become far more entertaining. His new gimmick is wonderful.

>>The Lightweight division is great, and it should heat up. McMahon should realize that a lot of his best matches come out of the cruiserweight division, and he should be pushing them even more. I have a feeling that will happen if Rey Mysterio gets the belt, because he may end up holding it for quite some time.

>>I have a feeling Scott Steiner may go to Smackdown to challenge Brock Lesnar, but wouldn't you much rather see him go to Raw and challenge HHH? Unless HHH drops the belt at Survivor Series, I think it would be much more entertaining to watch those two go at it, back and forth for some time. I mean, really? The real question would be how low would it go? Neither HHH nor Big Poppa Pump has any scruples and both could push the envelope as low as they wanted. Having Steiner face Brock is a natural, but to me it doesn't have the intrigue that HHH v. Steiner.

>>How badly are Rock, Austin, Hogan and Undertaker missed? Pretty bad if you ask me.

>>Unless I'm mistaken(which I rarely am), the WWE went from essentially ignoring the tag titles to now having different belts for each program. Now, while on the surface this makes some sense, I have some problems with this. Number one is the tag team ranks aren't nearly as strong as the WWE would like fans to believe. Unless they throw teams together(Benoit and Angle), they really don't have that many great teams that can compete regularly for those belts. They wanted to eliminate titles such as the US Title, European Title, Hardcore Titles, Intercontinental Titles, and allowed the Women's Title and Heavyweight Title to travel from show to show. This was a good thing. However, instead of getting rid of those other titles, they should've done the same thing with those belts that they did with the Heavyweight titles.

What they did is not only make the one mistake, but they turned around and made another by keeping the Heavyweight Title on one show. If you ask me (and since you're reading this, I'm assuming my opinion matters to you somewhat) the proper way to do it would've been eliminating some of the belts, keeping the US and Intercontinental Titles, and then you have three singles titles, the women's title, and the tag team title, and allow them to travel from show to show. This way, you don't lessen the value of the Heavyweight title, and the other titles still mean something. Besides, it allows other wrestlers who aren't main eventers to compete for belts as well. In my opinion, the WWE dropped the ball big time in this department.

>>Finally, the women. Now I drool and ogle the women of the WWE like every other man who watches. I think Stacy Kiebler is IT, and Trish Stratus is HOT. But, the WWE is taking the division seriously for the first time in a long time. Trish Stratus not only would look wonderful in my bed, but she is also the most improved wrestler over the last three years. Her first few matches were embarassing to say the least, and everyone was talking about how she was just another pretty face. However, she has worked extremely hard and her skills are vastly improving. She can hold her own in the ring, even with some of the guys. She's not afraid to take shots either, and the women are even delivering chair shots better than Lance Storm. Stacy and Dawn Marie are more show than anything, but even they are better than most of the female wrestlers the WWE has had in recent years. Molly, Jazz, Lita, Victoria, Jackie, Ivory, Torrie and many of the others are developing a strong women's division and creating an excitement in the division as well. They can hang with the men in the mixed tag matches, something that wasn't even thinkable years ago. They looked ridiculous years ago, and really didn't have any serious women's wrestlers since Sherri Martel graced the manager's sidelines. Since then, they've had a few here and there, but this crop is serious about the profession and they not only look great(I'd take most of them any day of the week), but they look good in the ring as well.

>>Until I win the lottery and publish all of my novels, then hide ala JD Salinger
.......keep reading.....
sincerely, the Novak Notebook.

We're going to do something

A little different with this Novak Notebook.....we're going to play a game called things I like, things I'm not too thrilled with, and things I miss.....feel free to disagree with whatever I say, I mean everyone needs to be wrong once in awhile, and it may just be your turn.

>>I Like: The tag-team of William Regal and Lance Storm...this is a nice way to take two mid-carders and do something with them.
>>I don't Like: Edge and Mysterio as a tag-team....both are great and are wonderful as a tag-team, but they should both be pushed to main event status...not as a tag-team.
>>I miss: Stacy Kiebler with the Dudleys...it was great to see the Dudleys together again, but I liked Stacy with them. She is hot(not with Test), and it made the Dudley's a little more interesting.

>>I like: Mattitude. It is funny and entertaining, and who would've thought Matt Hardy would've been this funny two years ago?
>>I don't like: Testicles. It's stupid and juvenile, and it is an excuse to get Stacy Kiebler not only to say testicles, but to be with her boyfriend.
>>I miss: the People's Champion. Without The Rock around it sure isn't as electric around the WWE as it used to be.

>>I like: Victoria with Steven Richards. Richards needs a push and is a very good worker that deserves another break. No matter what gimmick he's been given from the BWO, Dancin' Stevie, and the Right to Censor, he does his best and gives a good performance. He gets hurt alot, but still works better than a lot better.
>>I don't like: where were they going with Kane and Terri? Guess it didn't get much heat because they dropped it pretty quick.
>>I miss: Woman with Kevin Sullivan....that was a wonderful mixed team. Both were wickedly entertaining.

>>I like: The American Badass. It was the only way the Undertaker could come back and make it work, with the way his mobility has been greatly reduced. He became strictly a brawler and being called a badass was the best way to get him over.
>>I didn't like: Demonic Undertaker. It never really got over, and it was just a bizarre time from the marriage on just didn't work as well as the WWF wanted it to.
>>I miss: Old Undertaker. He was the best big man in the business. period. end of discussion.

>>I like: Shawn Michael's return. They need some top stars, and the ones who come back after long absences seem to translate well, and bring back both the old fans thinking back, and the new fans who have heard about these legends.
>>I don't like: Maven's return. What's the big deal? What has he done?<
>> I miss: Piper's many returns. He always seemed to pop up when nobody would expect him, and it was fun to see what he was going to do next.

>>I like: The WWE trying to mend fences with Bret Hart. It might be damn near impossible to do it, but the WWE is trying their best to see if they can get Bret Hart back on their good side. I think McMahon is saying he screwed up big time in Montreal by doing this, and Bret Hart may end up returning later on down the road. Stranger things have happened.
>>I don't like: WWE trying to mend fences with Ken Shamrock. Who cares? Whatever Shamrock can do, Kurt Angle can do it a hundred times better, and they are way underutilizing him.
>>I think: WWE should mend fences with Randy Savage. He could help them out a lot, if he resembles anything like he did in Spider-Man. He is wild and crazy and can make things very interesting. He would be better to sign than Nash and Hall.

>>I like: Ric Flair as a manager. I think this is where the WWE should be used on a regular basis. He can't wrestle anymore and he makes a wonderful manager. He's the next Bobby Heenan of managing.
>>I don't like: Ric Flair as a wrestler. Just stop this right now.
>>I miss: Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat. All of old matches were classic, and some of these were just great macthes you could watch over and over again.

>>I like: John Cena's rookie year. He looks like he should be a pretty good wrestler and he's having it rough right now, but it looks like the WWE is trying to make a transition with him. He seems to handle everything well and does do well in most of his matches.
>>I don't like: Randy Orton's rookie year. It's been pretty bad so far, and he isn't really getting a lot of heat as either a face or heel. Then he gets hurt on top of that.
>>I miss: Goldberg's rookie year. That was something special, and that was the last good rookie year that either federation handled well.

>>I like:Possiblity of a new Horsemen. It sounds good, and the timing is right. Flair in JJ Dillon's role, HHH in Flair's role, and talk of Orton and Batista joining the group. Could be interesting and entertaing, and the WWE does need a team of sorts. A stable if you were; because they don't really have any. Remeber all of those teams they used to have? D-Generation X. Nation of Domination. NWO. LWO. Horsemen. Dungeon of Doom. Now, you don't really have any. Need a few solid alliances.
>>I don't like: Paul Roma as a Horseman. Did they really need that? They need to be very careful of who they select as a Horseman, because the name isn't as magical as it used to be. They need a solid first group to be Horseman if they're going to pull it off.
>>I miss: Arn Anderson as the Enforcer.

>>I like: Roddy Piper's entrance theme. There was never another like it, nor will there ever be again.
>>I don't like: Big Show's entrance theme. It has sucked from the word go, yet they have never changed it. For a big man, he sure has weak music.
>>I miss: ECW entrance themes. They had some great entrance themes and it really didn't matter who was entering, because almost all of the themes were good. The WWE has sucked lately is dishing out entrance themes, and they really haven't had a memorable one as of late.

>>I like: The Scorpion King. It was big, fun, silly. It was entertaining, slick, and Kelly Hu is hot stuff. It was a good movie, and here's hoping the Rock gets a few more hits from Hollywood.
>>I don't like: Hulk Hogan movies: Name one, because they all suck. The only one that was ANY good was Rocky III, but naturally he wasn't the star. Complete opposite of his wrestling career, because everything he touches turns to crap.
>>I miss: Roddy Piper movies. I hear he may be doing some more, and I hope he does. Even though he's done some really bad ones of late(namely the comedy he was in with the tool time girl that blew big time), he's had more hits than misses. They Live, Sci-Fighters, Jungleground, and Tough & Deadly are some of his best work. Hell Comes to Frogtown is a cult classic.

>>I like: Booker T. He's shown he has the stuff for main event status but so far, they have him continue to just fall short. With his charisma and antics he should be a main eventer full-time by the beginning of next year, if not sooner.
>>I don't like: Test. Book's former tag-team partner never struck me as anything more than background radiation. Its there, and some people take notice, but mostly nobody cares. Not only can't I stand him because he and Stacy Kiebler are hot and heavy, but he thinks he can act! Is he serious? I've seen stiffs that can act better than him.

>>I like: Tommy Dreamer. You have to hand it to the guy. He's toiled for years, never had a gimmick, other than his hard work, and you never hear the guy complain or say much of anything, no matter whether he was the top dog in ECW, or low man on the totem pole in WWE.
>>I don't like: Dreamer eating chew tobacco spit. That was just gross.
>>I miss: The Innovator of Violence.

>>I like: RVD. He is everything about the future, both good and bad. Not a real heel, nor a real face. Just a dude who doesn't care. His moves are amazing, and if you want to be truly impressed, rent some of the old ECW tapes, when he leaps into the third row of fans, or wrestles while the ring ropes are broken and yet the match continues.
>>I don't like: Them calling his move rolling thunder, because what made it rolling thunder was Sabu hitting the guy in the opposite direction.
>>I miss: ECW. We need it back, and we need it back now. It was fun, hardcore, cutting edge, and everything that alternative wrestling should be. Unfortunately, Paul Heyman was a better idea man than money man, but what ideas he had.

>>I like: Eric Bishoff. Uncle Eric made his surprise visit not too long ago, and I honestly didn't think the WWE would keep him around this long. I figured that when there was the first sign of troubles, he would be the first one cut. But they've stuck with him, and he is a great character to watch.
>>I don't like: Vince McMahon. He became too silly, too obnoxious, and took up way too much time on television rather than letting his wrestlers wrestle.
>>I do miss: Shane McMahon. I wouldn't want him around as much as he used to be, but he would probably be far more entertaining than his sister at this point. She's nice to look at(although her breasts are ridiculous)but Shane had more mic talent.

>>I do like: Brock Lesnar. I think he has the perfect blend of knowing when to say something, and knowing when to not talk. Goldberg had the same thing. Rambling on and on for ten minutes or so isn't necessarily the greatest thing a wrestler can do, but Brock can talk in short spurts, and then go out and kick someone's ass.
>>I don't like: HHH. Boring. And speaking of rambling on and on, this guy doesn't know when to shut-up. Maybe the crack to the windpipe will keep him quiet for a little while. Guess they feel the longer he talks, the more over he gets. In my opinion people tune him out after five minutes or so.
>>I miss: Rock and Austin. They would certainly liven things up right now, and make it much more entertaining if they were around. One question though? Where have all the good heels gone? Seems as if everyone wants to be a face.

And finally....
>>I like: Stacy Kiebler: Does this really need any explantion? Those legs and that beautiful face. Hopefully they won't make her get breast enlargements, because she is great just the way she is. Trish Stratus is a close second in this catagory.
>>I don't like: Jacqueline. I liked her in WCW, and when she was roughing up the boys. She can hold her own and she is as tough as anyone, but WWE kinda turned her into a wimp, not even being able to beat women. They need the Disco Inferno back so she has someone to feud with.
>>I miss: Miss Elizabeth. She was truly the first lady of professional wrestling, and classy in her youth. She was wonderful, and she was beautiful and admit it, ya'll just about died when she stripped off her short dress that one day to help the Mega Powers win.

Well, that about wraps up another episode of the Novak Notebook. Hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed presenting it to you. So, until one of my novels get bought and made into a movie...keep reading...
Sincerely, the Novak Notebook.

Hmmmm, the talk of Wrestlemania

Is already in the air. What does that say about the two or three remaining pay-per-views before the big event? Oh well, that is something saved later for another column by yours truly. This is a small discussion about nostalgia.

Everything comes back. The Sixties returned. The Seventies are still around. And now the Eighties are making a comeback. You don't believe me? Look around. Groups like Guns N Roses, Whitesnake, Dokken, and Poison are trying to make big returns and are actually touring again. Kylie Minogue is popular again. Tiffany did a Playboy shoot that sold out. Some of the hot toys right now are Transformers, GI Joes, and Micronots. I'm just waiting for the next generation Police Academy movie and then the return will be complete.

Wrestlemania usually tries to follow in this realm. They try and balance a good card with some nostalgia. The return of Bobby Heenan and Mean Gene to host the gimmick battle royal. The return of Hulk Hogan, or other superstars. They always reflect on past Wrestlemanias and display what a "Showcase for the Immortals" it has become over the years. But it recent years, Wrestlemania has been seeing some problems. It doesn't have the luster it once had, nor the glamour. It has become part of the institution.

One of the basic problems with Wrestlemania is that it is just another ppv in a long twelve month long list of ppvs. Really, what is so special about Wrestlemania that isn't special about any of the other ppvs the rest of the year? They build up to it for four weeks(typically a little longer for Wrestlemania) and then the show. That's it, they move on to the next build-up for the next ppv. It's here and then it's gone. So, why the excitement and the frenzy over Wrestlemania when you get to see RAW the next night, or in one month see another ppv that will be, in the words of Jim Ross, "One of the biggest ppvs the world has ever seen"?

Wrestlemania has become a victim of its own success. The ridiculous success of Wrestlemania when it first started out spawned an awful trend. Vince McMahon saw a way to make even more money from his product. Have people shell out thirty plus dollars a month for one show. His logic was that it was a way for everyone to see a top notch card for a relatively low price, rather than have the top notch shows travel from city to city. It would save him money in moving expenses, and save wear and tear on his wrestlers.

The problem started when the decision was made that one yearly grand ppv was not enough. There needed to be more. So Summerslam, Royal Rumble, and Survivor Series soon followed. That was still okay. Four ppvs a year allowed for tremendous build-up to each one, and they were spaced out enough so that fans could get excited about each upcoming ppv. It got to the point where the fans couldn't wait any longer. The buyrates were ridiculously high, and attendance went through the roof, even during the lame early nineties.

Yes there are problems with the economy, and yes it is very cyclical in wrestling. Fans tend to come and go and then come back, and interest vacillates between highs and lows, but it is getting to a dangerous level. Remember when you could find people in the street talking about wrestling every once in awhile? Talk to someone now and mention anyone other than Rock, and they may know who you're talking about. Mention Hogan, Piper and Savage and they will almost certainly know who you are talking about. The older wrestlers made an impact, whereas the HHHs, Lesnars, Steiners, or whoever comes along is just leaving the fans flat. The interest isn't there anymore.

Does it really matter that Shawn Michaels won the belt at the last ppv? He lost it in this one, so he had a one month reign. Big deal. Big Show won his, and then lost it to Angle. Same one month reign. You used to have champions last for months. Even Piper's short Intercontinental title reign lasted a few months. That doesn't happen anymore. Fans don't get to the point where the want to see the champ lose the belt, but by the same token they don't get to have any wrestlers they love to hate anymore either. Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Steve Austin, Bobby Heenan were experts at goading the fans and getting the most out of them. Fans loved to see them, just so they could boo them. That doesn't happen anymore. They give the required boos to heels and the cheers to faces, but the emotion isn't there anymore. The wrestling world doesn't build the characters anymore and is too busy promoting the next ppv. They don't take the time on television anymore to build feuds, develop characters, change characters, or do anything else. It is all about getting someone over so they could stick them in the next ppv.

For instance, look back and try and remember the last good ppv you saw. None will come close to Wrestlemania III. Top to bottom, it was one of the best cards ever. And most people who are fans of wrestling will be able to name at least three or four matches from that card. At least three or four. Good fans can maybe name more. How many matches can you name from any one ppv recently? Now remember, Wrestlemania III might be one of the greatest ppv of all-time, but it is still fifteen years ago. Yet people remember Hogan-Andre. Piper-Adonis. Jake-Honky Tonk. Savage-Steamboat. Bundy, midgets-Hillbilly, midgets. Just to name a few. With ppvs coming and going so fast, just look at the back of one of the DVDs that comes out when the WWE puts out the latest ppv, and try and remember what the card was like by reading who wrestled. If I name Royal Rumble this year....who fought for the belt. Does anyone remember? Does anyone remember that Curt Hennig, Val Venis, and Goldust were in the Rumble itself? That isn't even a year old, yet it's hard to distinguish supposedly one of the cornerstone ppvs from the others that came after it.

Now why am I bringing all of this up? First off Wrestlemania is not the hallmark wrestling show it used to be, no matter what Vince McMahon tries to tell us. Yes, he tries to give us the matches people want to see, and he does try and make it a little better, but there really hasn't been a stand-out Wrestlemania since XIV. Quick quiz, who fought for the belt in XIV...answer at the end.

I think Vince McMahon is starting to realize the WWE is in a bit of trouble. He has no competition and therefore the fan interest isn't there to see what he is going to do next. You will always have the hardcore fans, no matter what. But let's face facts, Vince has not made all of the money he has made over the last 20 years on the hardcore fans. He has made it on the casual fans. The fans who tune in just to see someone they like, or they tune in to see what's going on, since they've been away for so long. Vince knows he has a core of loyal followers, and I'm sure he's thankful for that. However, he is not going to get back to being a billionaire by counting on the loyal followers, because the numbers are too small. He needs a large amount of casual followers who tune in every now and then and check out what's going on. Realizing this, Vince looks like he's already gearing up for Wrestlemania, and the year isn't even over yet.

It looks like he's trying to get Nash ready for WM. He's also trying to book HHH v. Steiner in a "whose the bigger asshole match". On top of that, he's trying to get back Austin and Hogan, and it looks like he's making a serious pitch for Goldberg, with the Rock possibly returning on top of all of this. This sounds like the ultimate Wrestlemania, but my question is what happens after WM?

Hogan and Goldberg go away, thus nullifying everything they did at WM. Hopefully Austin would stick around, but Rock will go back and make another movie, while we're stuck with either Steiner or HHH as champ. Sounds great huh? I didn't think so. I'm not too impressed either.

Actually, the state the WWE is in right now reminds me a lot of what happened to the WCW during the last glimpses of its glory years. Too much talent and they're not doing enough with it. Remember the WCW when it had a loaded roster and everyone was wondering why they weren't using everyone? Remember when you had the Wolfpack and Black and White NWO and they were nearly a whose who of wrestlers. What happened with all of that talent? Nothing. They didn't utilize it properly.

The WWE is in a similar boat, but on a much larger scale. They have tons of talent, but the same political turmoil in the background. HHH is going around calling shots, as is Stephanie and Vince. Others like Nash are vying for political influence, while Bishoff is slowly gaining it. There is no other big fish in town, so the wrestlers have no options but to go along, unless they want to work the independent circuit. There is nothing else these wrestlers can do. They can flee WCW like Benoit, Malenko, Guerrero, and Saturn did. They have to stay if they want to stay in the big-time. They don't have a choice, which makes it worse.

I've said it before, and I'll say it a hundred more times before I am through, but the WWE needs to rethink what it is doing. They need the big ppvs, Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, and Survivor Series. They need to have them memorable for something other than a surprise showing up, Pete Rose getting Tombstoned, or clothes falling off. They need to be remembered for great matches and great cards. If you want to have two or three other ppvs a year, fine but don't make them on as big a scale, and charge half of what you're charging now. This way the buyrate might stay up, and you may even have a sleeper card or two during the year. They aren't selling WM anymore, but trying to sell everyone a whole year. When business is good, that's okay, but when people are poor, it's much harder to plunk down nearly $400 a year to watch twelve shows. They need to make WM memorable, but meaningful as well. Just to have people show up for WM, while it is a nice idea, just doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things. Make the feuds last longer, make them stick, and make matches mean something again. That is the only way WM will be returned to its former glory and wrestling will regain any momentum at all.

Until the lottery realizes it has made a mistake all of these years and knocks on my door with a big fat check...keep reading...sincerely....
The Novak Notebook.
(By the way the answer to who fought at WM XIV was Austin-Michaels for the belt, but I'm sure you already knew that.)

As I was strolling to St. Ives,

I met a man who controlled the skies. I asked him from whenst he came, he replied the WWE was his domain. I pointed out it wasn't doing that well, and he assured me everything was swell. I asked him how that was so, and he merely laughed a big old ho-ho-ho.

It made no sense to me,seeing everything that I could see. HHH was in control, and Steiner was coming back, but nobody was watching and that was a fact.

Ratings were down and attendence was low. Prices were rising, but buyrates were slow. It made no sense to me for that man to say everything was fine, I wasn't sure if he was serious, or simply being kind.

Hogan was gone, as were the Rock and Stone Cold. Undertaker wasn't the same, and the wrestling was getting old. Nothing was on that was fresh, and I wasn't even sure the wrestlers could mesh.

I went back and asked the man about what he had said. Afterall, I pointed out the WWE is near dead. He laughed again and looked into the skies, a new year is coming, he said, with stars in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say, he seemed to sure.I asked if he was crazy or his intentions were pure.

He said with the new year, the old year can be forgotten. They can start over and hope for more than rotten.

Royal Rumble is on the way, and it can excite. It can even make one start to recite.......in rhyme no less ;-)

Austin may come back, and Rock will too. Then everything bad can be put aside from 2002.

Hogan may return, that is unknown and up in the air. Goldberg may enter the WWE maybe even on a dare.

Things may turn around for the WWE. They may head in a good direction and start a frenzy.

People will talk. People will gawk. The WWE will parade around and they may even still be around.

Ticket sales will go through the roof. Vince will prevent another big goof.

They will watch what they do, and watch where they go. The wrestlers will no longer take control.

You see, the man said, it is as simple as that. The fans have to go and take wrestling back.

And with that he left and walked away. I stared at him with nothing to say. I thought maybe he was right afterall, maybe things could turn around. Maybe the WWE could get it right and have shows that astound.

Anything is possible and maybe this is too. It can turn around any year that is new.

wait and see is all we can do, and see if the WWE can rebound too.

Until Dr. Suess comes knocking on my door
......I urge you to read
the Novak Notebook some more......

This week, the Novak Notebook travels

Behind the scenes. While others have gone in search of UFOs, The Lost Empire of Atlantis, Buried Treasures, the Novak Notebook went looking for something even more elusive than all of those put together.

At first, the Notebook managed to get behind the magic curtain behind one of the big events while it was in town. I was on a mission, and I was not going to be denied. I looked high and low, and just when I was about to give up all hope, there it was. It was sitting in front of me, drinking a bottle of water. He was sweating up a storm as if he had just won a marathon, yet I realized I had just found the Holy grail in Professional Wrestling. I had discovered the Icon himself. The one and only......Mr. Jobber.

As I approached, I was speechless. I didn't know what to say to this star. He was what made the wrestling world work, and I had understood his importance for quite some time. Yet there he was. Nobody was clamoring for his autograph. They were all running to the likes of HHH, Undertaker, or Angle. Yet here I was, in the presence of true greatness. The Jobber himself. I was cautious, yet optimistic that I would be able to get some comments out of him. He had been in a bad mood for years, yet recently, I had noticed he was starting to sway the other way. He was losing the the likes of Big Show, HHH, and Eddy Guerrero. Maybe he would be a little more fan friendly. I had to take a chance. Imagine my surprise when he not only took time out of his schedule to say a few words to me, but talked with me enough to be able to write up a column for. Here is what transpired after I introduced myself.

Novak Notebook: Would you like to tell me a little about yourself?
Jobber: I would but I can't remember.

NN: You can't remember anything about yourself? Don't you find that a bit odd?
Jobber: Normally, I would have to say yes. However, they haven't introduced me for so long in the ring, I forget how much I weigh and where I came from. Makes it difficult to write up Christmas cards.

NN: You have had an amazing career. It has been a career that has spanned ten years. You have fought the likes of Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, and even today's superstars. HHH, Austin, Benoit, The Rock, and Crash Holly have been your latest opponents. Can you talk about your remarkable career.
Jobber: Well first and foremost, that little piece of crap Crash cheated. That was the only way he was going to win that match. But yeah, I've had a pretty good career I think. I have gone toe to toe with the biggest and the best in this business, and I've put up one hell of a good fight. Just came up a little bit on the short end of the stick, is all.

NN: Every time?
Jobber: Just you never mind.

NN: Good fight huh? What about the time when Big Show slammed you, then went to the top rope and did a moonsault on your butt. That was pretty impressive you must admit.
Jobber: I don't know. I was out cold when he did that. All I do know is they had to go and find my spleen and I was off of television for four months.

NN: Four months? That's kinda surprising, considering they didn't mention anything at all about it on television.
Jobber: Yep, four months. Didn't hear my name mentioned once on tv, the bastards.

NN: Sound a little upset there. Should I call you Jobber, or Mr. Jobber?
Jobber: Call me Jobby if you want. Hell ya, I'm upset. Rock or Austin stubs their toe and they miss one week of television, all hell breaks loose and they damn near have a memorial service for them on tv. Me or one of the others like me breaks their neck, we may get mentioned if we die. Other than that, they dock us, wait for us to come back so some other big idiot can try a move on us they have never done before.

NN: I did notice that a lot of the guys take big risks with you that they don't try with some of the bigger stars. Why is that?
Jobber: Won't get noticed if they kill us, I suppose. We work just as hard as the bigger names, yet what do we get for it. Some big doofus tries a moonsault and they have to play connect the body parts with me.

NN: Let's change the subject on to something a little more light in tone. Do you think you'll ever reach the super stardom other men like Barry Horowitz, Iron Mike Sharpe, or even the great one Steve Lombardi reached.
Jobber: I don't know. Barry ruined his reputation a few years ago when he put together that streak and was even in a few ppvs. A lot of us kinda lost respect for him. You just don't do that when you're a grunt like us. He hasn't been right ever since. Iron Mike had a pretty good gig going. He even did that all with a busted arm all those years. Bet you didn't know it was really busted did ya?

NN: Ummm, I thought it was just an illegal weapon he could try and bring into the ring. Kinda the way Bob Orton brought in the cast.
Jobber: No,no,no, no......Orton stole that from Iron Mike. He saw potential in using the cast as a weapon. Iron Mike couldn't really use it as a weapon, because his arm was really broken for all them years. Orton was just a cheater that's all.

NN: But his arm was broken for what? Six, seven, eight years? It only takes four to eight weeks for a bone to heal.
Jobber: He was a slow healer. Besides, it was one of them compounded fractions or something.

NN: Okay, but you have to admit Steve Lombardi is the king in your arena.
Jobber: He is the great one, no doubt about it. Almost lost it though, when he became the Brooklyn Brawler and hooked up with Bobby Heenan. I thought he was going soft, but he managed to come through with flying colors. He's the one we all look up to and hoped to become someday.

NN: Next question. What do you think of Goldberg?
Jobber: Gillberg was a great gimmick, although he started losing steam to when he went and won......

NN: No,no,no not Duane Gill. I mean Goldberg.
Jobber: Who?

NN: You know. Bill Goldberg. The guy who went 173-0.
Jobber: Oh, you mean that sissy.

NN: Now that's interesting. Why do you call him a sissy?
Jobber: Well, he won all them matches in a row right?

NN: Right. He even won the belt in there somewhere. What's your point?
Jobber: Well, look what happened to him after he lost just once. He started to cry I think. The company folded and he disappeared. Wrecked a race car because he wasn't winning, got a part in a movie that blew chunks, and hasn't really done anything since. Say what you will, but he is nothing since he lost that one stinking match.

NN: So, what you're saying is losing makes you a better person.
Jobber: Makes you more interesting I think. Look at Lesnar. He had a streak like that going, and people got bored with him. He lost, and it didn't affect his popularity at all. People still love the guy. He gets snot beat out of him, beat up, punked out, but he keeps coming back. Like me. Anyway, one loss didn't cause him to go away. Made him even better. Besides, he isn't as predatable anymore.

NN: Don't you mean predictable.
Jobber: Whatever. Point is, you don't know what's going to happen now. Goldberg was always going to win. Then when he didn't, he couldn't take it. He took his ball and went to play in Japan. Lesnar grew and now people don't know if he's going to win or lose. Kinda neat that way.

NN: But doesn't that pose a problem for you? I mean if anyone can win, and by the same token anyone can lose, what do they need you for?
Jobber: That has been bothering me lately. It doesn't look like there's anymore of us out there anymore. Look at the WWE. Everyone is a Superstar. Most people laugh when they hear that, because anyone who thinks that Maven is a superstar needs their brains examined. But by calling everyone a superstar, they took away our jobs. Sometimes you can still tell what's going to happen, but the blurred it up a little bit.

NN: But what do you think about Mr. McMahon calling everyone in the WWE a superstar? Does it bother you?
Jobber: Sure it does, because not everyone there is a superstar. You don't hear everyone else in sports saying this average wide receiver is a superstar, or a .220 hitter is one of the great ones. You don't hear about actors who can't act their way out of paper bags called wonderful and terrific. Yet McMahon is trying to convince everyone that all the WWE wrestlers are great. Almost all of them are good athletes, but they aren't great wrestlers. Everyone has a role and a place, but these guys don't want to accept that, which causes those lines to be blurred a little more. Sometimes that's good because you don't know what's going to happen, but sometimes it can be frustrating for a fan to who may be expecting a bit more out of a match. There are no surprise winners anymore, like the 1-2-3 Kid over Razor Ramon, because they've built everyone up with a chance to win. It hurts me in the long run, because I can't live up to the expection.

NN: You mean expectation. Okay, do you think you'll have a job much longer?
Jobber: Don't know. Al Snow did a great thing by creating the Job Squad, in my honor of course. Brought a lot of attention to our plight. We even tried to get a song going, kinda like we are the world. Only we were going to use one hit wonders. Nobody showed up because we couldn't pay for them to come in. We're a dying breed in this here business. I mean not everyone needs a gimmick or a catch phrase. Just look at the guys you mentioned above, and some of them are as famous as some of the stars from the time.

NN: Guess they created their own little nitch.
Jobber: They certainly did. Their hard work and dedication to their craft earned the respect of the die hard loyal fans everywhere in the world. Sure we get beat up, and we're hardly ever given a chance to win, much less show up on a ppv. We make a lot less money than the stars, and we have to fly in a baggage compartment of planes everywhere, but we're like the offensive line of a football team. You don't hear much about us, but you would definitely know if we weren't there.

NN: With that being said, where do you think you'll go from here?
Jobber: Don't know. Hopefully, I'll keep this here job for awhile. I like facing all of these guys and giving them a run for their money. If I can entertain the fans by getting my brains scrambled every now and then, so be it. When I retire I'll probably go back to being a teacher or chemical engineer. Just never let it be said that Mr. Jobber didn't give everything he had and left the fans wanting more.

NN: Thank you Mr. Jobber for the wonderful time and consideration you gave me. I wish you nothing but the best.
Jobber: You're welcome and I just hope this conversion allows people everywhere to know about what's going on with us all around the world.

NN: I'm sure it will. Thanks again.

Well, that was certainly a stimulating and thought provoking look at the inside of the life of Mr. Jobber. Truly one of the greats of professional wrestling. I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I enjoyed presenting it to you. So until the next time when Britney Spears is asking me to do it one more time....keep reading
...sincerely the Novak Notebook.

Dedication to the wrestler's life, but just some points and observations. Hope you enjoy.

>>>> And welcome back to This is Your Life, and our guest this week. Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Thank you Hunter for joining us this week.

HHH: Thanks for having me Novak. The pleasure is all yours.

NN: Of course. Anyway, we are traveling through many aspects of your life in the world of professional wrestling. As many people know, you have spent quite a bit of time in the world of pro wrestling. This first voice is one from way back however.

Voice: I'm gonna crush your skull.

HHH: (chuckles) That has to be Killer Kowolski. I went to his school.

Killer: That's right, and you probably ended up my best student. You learned the craft really well. Especially about upstaging others. That was one that you can't be taught, you have to be born with. And you don't let anyone show you up ever. Good job!

HHH: Well, I learned from the best. This is my time right now. I worked hard all of those years, and watched others take the top stop. I'll be damned if I'm going to give up the top spot that easily. I am the Game, and I am that damn good.

NN: For someone who said they weren't about catch phrases, you sure have milked that one over the years. Okay, now that your schooling days are taken care of, let's move on to some other days. Now, do you remember this voice?

Voice: Dag nabbit. If I woulda known you were that good a wrassler, I woulda kept ya down in Atlanta.

HHH: Ha, ha, ha. That has to be Ted Turner. He blew it big time. He stuck me with those blue bloods, and gave me some French sounding name, and put me in mid-card feuds. I got a little frustrated and left for bigger and better things.

Turner: That's right. Plus, if I woulda known ya'll had as big an ego as Hogan, Nash, and Hall, I woulda done kept ya and had Bishoff work ya in with the NWO. Insteada bein' up in WWF pokin' the daughter of the company to get political influence, ya'll coulda been here brushin' up with the biggest egos in the world.

HHH: I am the Game, and I have the biggest ego in the world. Hey, wait a minute...you...

NN: Well, we'll be moving on in a second.

HHH: That wasn't fair, you showed me up! Nobody shows me....

NN: Didn't Stephanie just call? I heard she needs you to buy some tampons on the way home.

HHH: Man, I just got her some the other day. She needs more already?

NN: Sounds that way. Anyway, let's move on. The next voice is one you didn't hear much of when you were in the WWF, but it should be pretty memorable.

Voice: Ugghhhh. The sound of thunder has risen and the children of all of my warriors has spoken. It is time for all to decide what the fates of all involved....

HHH: (yawning) The Ultimate Warrior. Gee, that was tough. What's the big deal about bringing him up?

NN: Well, you did fight him.

HHH: No I didn't.

NN: Yes, you did.

HHH: No I didn't.

Warrior: Yes, you did.

HHH: You stay out of this! I never fought this man I tell you.

***And at that moment the cock crowed and all grew silent.***

HHH: Ummm, okay, so maybe I did wrestle him. What's your point?

NN: You lost.

HHH: So?

NN: Big time.

HHH: So?

NN: He kicked your ass.

HHH: Okay, okay, okay! So it wasn't one of my better moments. What's your point?

NN: Well, it was one of the quickest defeats in Wrestlemania history. You got your tail handed to you. You came into the WWF as a Blue Blood, although not with the LaFeet name, or whatever they handed you there. But you came in as Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and a snob. You were a bit thinner back then, and once you lost to the Ultimate Warrior in Wrestlemania, you began a transformation. What made you begin the transformation?

HHH: Well, I realized I wasn't going anywhere as a Blue Blood, other than I was going to be a snob. I was going to be walked over, and a stepping stone if I continued along that path. I decided I needed to do something, and I needed to do it quickly. Unless I wanted to get stuck in mid-card purgatory for the rest of my career, I was going to have to reinvent myself.

NN: Is that why you started to be known as HHH?

HHH: Well, that was part of it. It was past the gimmick phase of the WWF, and I wasn't going to be taking another name. I was stuck with Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and I was going to have to make the best of it. So, rather than be known as Hunter, I went by HHH.

NN: Which leads us to our next person.

Voice: Your ass better call somebody!!!!

HHH: Good old Roaddog. He was part of the DX group that Shawn Michaels and I brought together.

NN: Whose idea what DeGeneration X?

HHH: It was kind of a collaborative effort, between Vince, myself of course, Shawn, and others. The WCW was heading in a direction where they were starting to go on a bit of a role, and we felt we needed something to counteract that. We needed to give fans a clear choice, and DeGeneration X was something everyone could love, or love to hate.

NN: So, what was it like to sleep with Chyna?

HHH: Different man, very different.

NN: How did you do that?

HHH: Bags helped a lot man.

NN: What's the difference between Steph and Chyna?

HHH: Steph has a lot more influence.

NN: That's it?

HHH: Pretty much. I mean parts of both girls are fake. I can't tell where the girl starts and the fake parts are. It is a mishmash in there, but Steph is a bit better for my career.

NN: Interesting. How about this next voice?

Voice: Have a nice day.

HHH: Ahh, good old Mick Foley. I retired him you know.

NN: Had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to retire and become a full-time author now did it?

HHH: Nope. Not at all.

Mick: Have a nice day.

NN: Thanks Mick. Anyway, this was one of your career defining moments wasn't it HHH?

HHH: Sure was. Until then, I was seen as somewhat soft. I had been a champion, but I wasn't seen as a solid champ, or someone who could stand toe to toe with people in a fight. Mick kinda gave me the fights I was looking for.

Mick: Have a nice day!

NN: Uh, thanks Mick, I'll try that. But another point I want to make out of this HHH is this; don't you feel bad when you get into feuds like this with Mick and others like the one you've had with Chris Jericho, and they NEVER come out on top? I mean, isn't the point of having a good feud is that the victories go back and forth, or one never gets a complete victory over the other? In both of these feuds you have totally dominated. You've won clear cut on numerous occasions against both men, and they don't have any victories over you? Why would people continue watching?

HHH: Because I'm wrestling. It doesn't matter who I'm wrestling, people just want to keep watching.

NN: Then why are ratings down on RAW?

HHH: I don't have any competition.

NN: But you just said it doesn't matter who you're wrestling?

HHH: Well, its probably Bishoff's fault then.

NN: So you're blaming Eric Bishoff, rather than blaming the fact that the whole show revolves around you, and quite frankly, you aren't all that interesting.

HHH: Yep.

Mick: Have a nice day!

NN: Mick, look over there. There's a television tower over there. Go climb it. (Mick runs off and climbs up the tower) Now, on to this next voice.

Voice; No look here, I ain't comin' back to wrestlin' unless I can go to Smackdown.

HHH: Stone Cold Steve Sourpuss.

NN: Interesting, why do you say that?

HHH: Steve Austin took his ball and went home. Then he beat up his wife. Say what you want, but I would never beat up any woman I was involved with.

NN: Nah, you would just cheat on them with the boss' daughter.

HHH: Hey, that was a low blow.

NN: I'm sure you're used to those. No, I guess you're right. You wouldn't beat up the women you're with. The first one would've come back and beat the snot out of you, and the other one would make sure you would never work in wrestling again. I guess you have to be a bit careful.

HHH: But Stone Cold is a sore loser.

Austin: I'm goin' to get a beer. I'm sick a listenin' to this loser.

NN: But doesn't Austin have a point? He was tired of the direction everything was heading, and the world of wrestling revolving around you.

HHH: He didn't seem to mind when it revolved around him though did he?

NN: Yeah, but people liked him and he was more interesting. Besides, he didn't have nearly the problems backstage that you do. But the world never truly revolved around him. It was always him and McMahon. Vince was always using different people to get at him. Either the Rock, you, Big Show, Angle, or many others. So, the world didn't really revolve around him.

HHH: Whatever. He just couldn't handle the pressure the way I can. He couldn't take the heat, and the way things were changing, and so he tucked his tail between his legs and left.

NN: But you have a problem. Nobody wants to work with you. When you were an IC champ, you had one main competitor and that was the Rock. You've had a few good feuds with others as champ, but still Austin and Rock are your main rivals. They moved Brock Lesnar over to Smackdown. If Austin comes back, he wants to go to Smackdown. Angle is on Smackdown, the Rock goes on Smackdown when he comes back. Undertaker, Big Show, and Benoit are also on Smackdown. If Goldberg comes in, he wants nothing to do with you. Can you explain all of this?

HHH: They're all afraid of me.

NN: That's it?

HHH: In a nutshell.

NN: Doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you tend to use your political influence and bury anyone you want?

HHH: No comment.

NN: Doesn't have to do with the fact that you might allow someone like your good buddy Shawn Michaels his fifteen minutes of fame, only to rip it away when it is convenient for you?

HHH: He wasn't getting the job done as champ. And before you say anything, neither was Chris Jericho.

NN: Even though during Chris' reign, the ratings were at least a little higher, and the feuds were a lot more interesting. People were more interested, even though he was hindered by Stephanie and her rants. People still wanted to see what was going to be done next. With you, they know you're going to have the last laugh, and they don't think it's very funny.

HHH: They just can't take that I'm the best there is.

NN: But if you're the Game, shouldn't you have the ratings and buy-rates to prove it? I mean, listen to this next voice.

Voice: Can you smell what I'm cookin'?

HHH: Okay, the Rock may have had his moment in the sun, but what has he done lately? I fought him, and I beat him. I've beaten them all. That's why I am the man in the world of wrestling.

NN: You are a big star, and there is no doubt about that. Sure, you have beaten most stars in this sport, but using your influence to do it is kinda the cheap way to go about it if you ask me.

HHH: Hey, I did my time, and worked my way up. You can't argue that.

NN: No, I don't think anyone would argue that at all. I think you did earn your spot near or at the top. My point is this; you've tainted whatever legacy you were about to create when you hooked up with Stephanie McMahon. You also hurt your reputation with the others by using your influence with Vince and the others to get your way. Sure, many others such as Austin, the Undertaker, and others have done the same thing. You can get away with those types of things when ratings are bad. You ever hear of cooperation?

HHH: Sounds familiar, but I never use it.

NN: One last question before we leave. What do you see as your role in the future of....(Phone rings)....Hello? Oh, here's one last voice for you HHH.

Novak hands phone to HHH.

Voice: Hello Hunter, sweetie. Besides tampons, could you also grab me some FDS, some hair spray, and some hand cream on your way home?

HHH: I'm in the middle of something here Steph.

Steph: Fine. Next week, you're going to lose your precious belt to Christian. And after that, you'll be jobbing until the day you die.

HHH: What type of hair spray sweetie?

NN: And that about wraps up another precious moment here on the Novak Notebook. So, until the next time when Scott Steiner actually explodes from flexing too much, keep reading....
sincerely, the Novak Notebook.