When it comes to skill and talent, I personally believe that both men possess both qualities, though one more so than the other.

Hogan has the skill, and Piper the talent. Now, before you start pounding out that awesome hate mail to me, finish reading. It makes sense, trust me. Just keep reading.

Hogan, like I said, does possess both the skill and the talent, though I feel he's more skilled than talented. Talent, or "the natural endowments of a person", is basically when someone was born with the ability, whereas skill is knowing how to use it. Is Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea a talented actor? Absolutely. Is he a skilled actor? Sure. Now, is this same man a talented wrestler? To some extent, yes. Then again -- they all are. Is he a skilled wrestler? You know it as well as I do. Now, when I say wrestler, I do not simply mean mat technician. I mean mat technician, performer, talker. I mean everything that wrestling encompases today. Maybe a better question to ask would be is Hulk Hogan good at making the fans hate him one moment and then worship the very ground he alks upon the next? The answer is, I don't need to put one, because we all know what it is: a resounding YES. Was he lucky enough to be blessed with that type of ability from the day he was born? Nope...which would be why he's skilled, not talented.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper

The self proclaimed Icon of wrestling. The "reality check" of WCW way back when. Is it skill or is it talent? In the Rowdy One's case, it's talent. It's 100%, Grade-A, made-to-order talent. OK, maybe that's a little much, but you get the point. Piper, I believe, was born with the ability to entertain. Mat technician he may not be, but he is good on the stick.

Not to knock Hogan in any way, shape, or form, but I believe that Piper is all-around better. Except for maybe the acting...but that's a whole different story.

"I believe that professional wrestling is clean. Everything else is fixed." - Frank Deford

Wrestling fans

Come in all shapes and sizes. Tall. Short. Fat. Skinny. They come from all walks of life, too. Doctors. Lawyers. Nurses. Teachers. Students. Police Men. Athletes. Secretaries. The people you wouldn't expect to watch wrestling are probably sitting at home on Mondays and Thursdays watching TV. But no, these people aren't watching Ally McBeal, The Practice, or Sex and The City. These people -- the ones you wouldn't think watch wrestling -- are at home watching Monday Night Raw is War and SmackDown. Some of these people are probably your coworkers, your classmates, your healthcare providers, your bill collectors, your everyday, run of the mill scumbag off the street.

When, I ask you, why are these people that we deal with on a daily basis afraid to admit that they, too, have a "Paragon of Virtue"? That they, too "smell what The Rock is cooking"? Why are these closet "Hulkamaniacs" afraid to admit these things to others? Is it because they don't want to be ridiculed? Are they afraid of hearing that dreaded "F" word? Chances are, that, in attempt to hide the fact that they watch wrestling, they've used that "F" word when talking to a wrestling fan. And then, they've probably cringed with guilt when they watched said person go off on a tangent about how it's not "fake" because if it were, how do you explain half of the injuries?

Which still brings us back to the question of why some people are afraid to admit that they watch wrestling.

Maybe I'm a little partial, but there's nothing wrong with being a wrestling fan. I mean think about it: By Friday night, some 7 million people have watched Raw and SmackDown. And by Monday morning, people in some 50 countries have watched the PPV. What's the big deal? If 7 million people can admit it -- so can you. As far as I'm concerned, there's absolutely nothing better than changing the Monday morning water cooler conversation to what happened on Raw.

I think that maybe some people don't admit that they watch wrestling is because of that godforsaken "F" word. That word gives wrestling fans more trouble than anything else. If I can offer my two cents' worth...why do people treat wrestling fans like we're hobos off the street? Of course we know that it's not "real." But do we say things to people who watch soap operas? Do we remind them that Days of Our Lives and Another World are fake and that they're just actors? Of course not. You know why? 'Cause we know that they know it's not real.

I believe that professional wresting is clean. Everything else is fixed.

Real or fake?

Real: having existence or actuality as a thing or state; not imaginary; genuine

Fake: not genuine

Today I pose the big question: Is Wrestling Fake?

To start my answer, I must say that I think the answer all depends upon who you ask. If you asked someone who never has and never will watch wrestling, their answer will probably be a resounding YES. If, however, you asked someone who watches every week, orders all the PPVs, you'll more than likely get one of two answers: either they'll say it's not fake, or the "smarter" fan will say that it's "real" to a certain extent but at the same time it's "fake" to a certain extent because no person, and it doesn't matter who you are, is capable of doing what these guys do, day in and day out, for 20+ years.

Look at it this way: If it were "real-real" (100% real), would Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan, Sting, and all the people they've wrestled both with and against still be alive today? Or able to wrestle some 10 times a month? Simply put, no.

But, by the same token, if it were 100% fake, would these guys still have jobs? Would wrestling have the same following that it does now? Again, the answer is no.

Therefore, wrestling as we know it must be one part real and one part fake, right? Exactly.

Just to clarify something, I'm not talking about "shoot fighters" like Ken Shamrock and Tank Abbot, who, for the record, is the only guy to get suspended for beating people up. I'm merely talking about professional wrestling.

Anyway, as I was saying..if it's not ALL real but not ALL fake, that means it must be part real and part fake. Which brings up the question of How Does One Know Which Part Is Real And Which Is Fake? Use your common sense for most of this, folks. Injury-wise, I've been told it's real if the EMTs rush to the ring right away. Pretty easy, right? Ah. but see, there's a catch: the EMTs have to be wearing gloves. Not only that, but you can usually tell if it's real/fake by how all parties involved act: EMTs go slowly, the dumbfounded announcers, the ref not knowing what to do, possibly other wrestlers coming out from the back. Remember the Austin vs. Owen match back in 1996? Owen gave Austin a piledriver, but Austin suffered a stinger. What did Owen do? He stalled for a few in order to buy Steve some much needed time. That, my friends, is what we call sportsmanship.

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Sportsmanship

According to my Funk and Wagnalls, a sportsman is one who abides by a code of fair play in games r in daily practice. If that's the case, than sportsmanship would be the act of abiding by a code of fair play in games or in daily practice.

Naturally, there are some people who are expected to have good sportsmanship: Jordan, Shaq, Nomar and Pedro, to name a few. And of course there are always the coaches/managers. This does, however, apply to sports such as baseball and basketball. But what about wrestling?

Regardless of what people would like to think, wrestling is a sport. Just because there are only two -sorry, one, for the time being -- "major" federations means nothing, because a sport is that which amuses in general; a particular game pursued for diversion. According to that -- wrestling's a sport. But it's not just the definition that qualifies wrestling as a sport. It's the "dozens and dozens" of people who believe it's a sport that makes it a sport.

With that said, what does sportsmanship -- good, bad, or otherwise -- have anything to do with wrestling? After all, wrestling has it's own rules (that aren't exactly followed), so then wouldn't the "rules" on sportsmanship be different? I like your thinking, but unfortunately for you, the answer is no, and the reason for this is really simple.

If sportsmanship is basically the way one acts then it doesn't differ from sport to sport because theoretically, ALL athletes and celebs are expected to act a certain way, whether they're in front of the camera or at a meet-and-greet autograph session. These people, the ones whom we hold up high on a pedestal for everyone to see, are expected to be nice and friendly, even if their TV counterparts are as bad as bad can be.

Good sportsmanship is not just how the person is supposed to act. It's also how they act. Take, for example, the late Owen Hart. In a 1996 match against Steve Austin, Owen executed a piledriver, from which Austin suffered a stinger. Owen could have just pinned Austin right then and there in the middle of the ring. But no, Hart showboated for a few, in order to buy Austin some precious time. In my opinion, that is the epitome of sportsmanship.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings,
The sin for sorrow will not show his head.
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things.
Some shall be pardoned and some punished.
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo
(Prince Escalus Act 5 Scene 3)

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What's in a name?
That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet

Basically, what this is saying is that it doesn't matter what you call someone, because the person makes the name, not the other way around.

While it is true that sometimes all it takes for a wrestler is a gimmick change, this doesn't apply to everyone. There are some wrestlers for whom it doesn't matter who they are teamed with or against - they just suck. It may not be true for guys like Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, but it is true for one Sean Waltmann.

Before I begin explaining, I just want o preface this by saying that Waltmann actually does have talent. Maybe.

123 Kid. Syxx. X-Pac. For some reason, it seems like most everybody hate this kid. The only thing I can really remember about him as 123 Kid is a feud with Scott Hall aka Razor Ramon. As Syxx in the nWo, he just stood there and tried to look tough. I think he might have even wrestled in a few matches. As X-Pac, he's done quite a few things. No one cares what they were, but he did do some stuff. He pretended to be cool in DX...had a feud with Kane over Tori...then teamed with the Big Red Retard...or maybe it was the other way around. I honestly can't remember. After Kane I can't remember anything..except for the fact that he seems to have finally accepted the idea that DX is done.

For thos who may not know (how could you not?), X-Pac, Albert and Justin Credible have formed X-Factor. From what I can tell, it looks kind of like a ghetto DX. Which, by the way, isn't a good thing. X-Factor, in my opinion, just needs to go home. Or at least 2/3 of them - Justin Credible actually has some ability.

One thing I can't knock X-Pac for, however, is his heat - or lack thereof, which is exactly the point. The guy doesn't get normal fan heat. Instead of boos, X-Pac get's "shit, this guy's on? I'm going to..." He gets unbelievable, X-Pac's-on-change-the-channel heat. And Vince knows this. Which is the exact reason why he won't let X-Pac get better - why bother?

I'm Going to Take a Leak, this guy SUCKS!

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I don't know about anyone else, but lately I've been thinking. A lot. And about all kinds of things. I've been thinking that what's going on in Israel is insane. That if I don't get my bio grade up, I'm more than likely screwed. But mostly I've been thinking about wrestling, and how boring it's become. Maybe it's only because I have nothing to switch back and forth between, but I feel that since the sale of WCW, wrestling just hasn't been the same.
I think it has something to do with the fact that now Vince McMahon doesn't have any competition, he doesn't need to try. After all, if you want to watch wrestling, you'll watch anything you can get, even if it is the same old, same old every week, right? Maybe not. According to the ratings, since Vince bought WCW, the WWF's ratings haven't quite been the same. Nor have the PPV buyrates and merchandise sales.
Yeah, maybe some of it has to do with the fact that Austin is just that good of a heel -- hell, his merchandise isn't even in the Top 10 at wwfshopzone.com.
I do think, however, that the majority of the reason as to why the ratings have declined is due to the fact that Vince has no major competition to worry about. XPW? Not really, because they're more west-coast friendly and Vince is mostly east-coast. So Vince has no competition. Which means that theoretically, there's no reason to have any Grade-A stuff because he's basically the only option as far as pro-wrestling goes. I'm afraid, though, that Vince McMahon has forgotten that most of us get sick and tired of the same stuff week in and week out; it creates boredom. And boredom leads to low ratings; which hurts everyone in the long run.
I think that what Vince needs to do it convince -- or remind -- himself that there's competition to worry about; that there's a possibility that only 5 million will tune in next time instead of 7 million because they've found something better to watch.
* * *
Want me to watch my mouth? How?
Take my fucking eye balls out, turn 'em around?

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Speculation...

Over the past few months, since Vince McMahon's WWFE bought WCW, there have been rumors abound that this superstar did/didn't sign with either the "new" WCW or the WWF. According to Jim Ross' "Ross Report," they have signed a total of 24 superstars for the "new" WCW. Who these superstars are, we don't know. What we do know, however, is that there is no superstar with the caliber of Hulk Hogan, Sting, or even Goldberg.
The rumor mill is going crazy with speculation, though crazy may be an understatement when it comes to figuring out why the Hogans, Stings and Goldbergs have yet to sign. And while some of it may be due to the fact that these guys are entertainers and it's a lot easier to collect a paycheck doing nothing but watching Springer reruns, I think there's more to it.
I think what's happening is that the Hogans and Stings have been in the business for so long that they now see this as a good chance to retire. Where Hogan's been in this business for some 20 years and in the limelight for most of that, he's more than likely saved up enough money to retire and live comfortably on, as has Sting. Besides - why bust your ass day in and day out for a company that's so overloaded with talent? Because even if you're a main eventer, you may just get bumped down to mid-card, which for some is the worst thing that could ever happen.
Now as long as we're on the subject of rumors and speculation, according to the latest, both Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage wish to start up their own feds. What's up with that? As far as I'm concerned, only one word comes to mind when I hear that: no. Absolutely not. The way I figure, since Hogan and Savage are already huge marquee names, only one of their feds will stick anyway (if they make it that far) so why not make it one big fed run by Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage? Now THAT would be competition for Vince McMahon.
Seriously though, think about it. Because all Vince's possible competition needs is a lot of money and some "superstar power." But what if the person had plenty of dough but no star power? That's where Hogan and Savage come in. Like I've already said, if these guys do, indeed, start up their own separate feds, only one has a chance of succeeding. But, if the two put aside any real life heat they may have, they might possibly be able to compete with Vince McMahon.
And then maybe, just maybe, if the fed does succeed, then Vince will have to make his WWF shows 110% better than ever if he wants the fans of the World Wrestling Federation to STAY fans of the WWF - and ONLY the WWF, not a Hogan-Savage fed.

* * *

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts . . .
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
(from William Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man")

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In light
Of his recent retiring, I figured that his would be appropriate as my next column. It is called "Back in Black," and basically it's a career history/overview of The Man They Call STING. If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to send them to StingaFan8666@aol.com. I read everything and 99% of the time I reply, even if I don't agree with you. And remember...The Only Thing That's For Sure About Sting Is Nothing's For Sure.

Born on March 20, 1959, in Omaha, Nebraska, Steve Borden never imagined that he'd be doing what he does today for a living. But he is, and he seems to be loving every second of it.

As the only wrestler to never leave WCW for WWF or ECW and then come back, Sting has been referred to as "The Franchise" of WCW for much of his career.

He stands 6-foot-3-inches tall and weighs in at 525 pounds. While he may not look like he poses a real threat, obviously he does, as he's been Heavyweight Champion of the World some seven times, US Champ and one half of the Tag Champs countless others. To win these titles, he's defeated men the likes of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flar and Meng. Apparently, he's done something right.

His finishing maneuvers are the Stinger Splash, which basically is a splash in which Sting runs from one turnbuckle diagonally towards the other and runs into his opponent; the Scorpion Deathlock, which is a submission move that gets your back and legs; and the Scorpion Deathdrop which basically is a reverse DDT and when executed, the opponent lands face-first into the mat.

When he first started, he wrestled in old smoke-filled barns, which were filled to capacity (usually 500-600 seats). He had to drive 300+ miles a day every day of the week, and would make a 50 dollar payoff for wrestling one guy. Not only that, but there were no locker rooms. Most of the time, "The Franchise" was changing in an old janitor's closet. While these conditions may sound extreme, it's basically what everyone has to go through if they want to become a professional wrestler. It's all part of a little thing called "paying your dues."

When he first started wrestling professionally, he teamed with Jim Hellwig, better known as The Ultimate Warrior. Together, they were known as Flash and Brock - The BladeRunners.

In 1991, he was voted "Most Popular Wrestler," and by February of 1992 he was a 2-time World Champion.

In 1993, he held the World Title for a short time in March, and 1995 was mostly spent tagging with "The Macho Man" Randy Savage and Ric Flair, though Flair and the 4 Horsemen turned on Sting.

By mid-1996, Sting was the white-faced figure who brooded in the shadows, came down from the rafters with baseball bat in hand, rushed the ring through the crowd and held vultures on his shoulders. All this and he never spoke a work. Not only that, but he managed to remain silent until January of 1998.

Being Heavyweight Champion is an honor, but Sting suffered from the short end of a screwjob.

After a somewhat controversial ending to a Starrcade 1997 match between Sting and Hulk Hogan in which Sting was declared the winner -- and new champion - James J. Dillon, then commissioner, announced 10 days post-Starrcade that the title was being help up, and at the next Pay-Per-View, Sting and Hulk Hogan would once again meet for the Title, and there had to be a winner. On this night, Sting was the winner -- though he was still silent.

At Spring Stampede 1998, Randy Savage defeated Sting for the title. That same year, Sting joined the Wolfpac. He was now red and black. But all that changed in a match against "The Excellence of Execution," Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Hart beat Sting with a ball bat, putting him out of action for many months.

When Sting returned, once again as black and white but no longer silent, he began feuding with Vampiro. This feud lead to a short alliance, which eventually lead to another feud between the two. This feud led up to the Great American Bash 2000 match where Sting was "burned." This kept him out of action for quite a few months.

When the Stinger once again returned, a man by the name of Vince Russo was in charge, and some may that it's because Russo wanted nothing to do with the "has-beens" that kept Steve off of TV. While this may be the case, it's more than likely only part of it.

One night on Nitro, Jeff Jarrett came to the arena dressed in early-90's Sting garb -- face paint and all. He came to the ring and cut a promo. He told the "Little Stingers" in the audience that an autograph would cost them 20 dollars. Jarrett then did the unthinkable -- he questioned Sting's heart and challenged him to a match. Needless to say, Jarrett learned that you can do anything you want to Sting - but the one thing you absolutely positively never do is question his heart.

This was one of a few appearances from Sting until March 26, 2001. This night, "Night of Champions," was the last Nitro. At the top of the show, the one and only Ric Flair came out to the ring and challenged Sting to a match because, as The Nature Boy put it, "To be THE MAN you gotta beat THE MAN...and I'm THE MAN!" Would Sting miss this night? Of course nt. After an all-around great match, Sting got the win -- making him "THE MAN." At the end of the match, Sting and Flair hugged and shook hands -- showing the respect they have for one another.

When a man's heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies, and a dark shadow falls over his soul. From the ashes of a once-great man has risen a curse; a wrong that must be righted. We look to the skies for a vindicator, someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the same men who created him. The battle between good and evil has begun. Against an army of shadows comes a Dark Warrior, the purveyor of good, with a voice of silence and a mission of justice. This is Sting.

Couples
Terri and Saturn. Austin and Debra. Spike and Molly. Matt and Lita. Macho and Liz. Hunter and Steph.

There's no question that couples in wrestling are becoming more and more prominent.
While it may be true that opposites do attract, where, in wrestling, do we draw the line of "just too weird" as far as couples go? Also, what's the point of a couple in wrestling? Is it just for ratings? It goes with the storyline?

In my opinion (which, for the record, is the only one that matters), if you want to pair a couple on TV, great. But I do feel that it should make some sense. After all, we wouldn't want to see, say, Lita with Saturn, right? Or would we? It all depends on the angle.
Take, for example, the newly-made couple of Spike Dudley and Molly Holly. Now, does this pairing make sense? Yes and no. No, because (and maybe this is just me)it seems like all of a sudden Spike and Molly were together. However, it does make sense in a William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet-esque type of way: Two families, in this case the Hollys and Dudleys, are fighting, but yet Molly and Spike can see through all that and love each other. How much do you want to bet that the Dudleys and Hollys stop fighting soon?
On the other hand, we have Terri and Saturn, which I have yet to understand. Look at Terri . . . then look at Saturn. I have no idea what Terri sees in Saturn, but even though I'm a girl I know what Saturn sees in Terro. Hell, one would have to be blind AND stupid not to know. Seriously though, what could Terri POSSIBLY see in Perry Saturn? I'm willing to bet it's not his "I wish I could be Hulk Hogan" mustache. Unless . . . I think I know what it is . . . maybe, just maybe, that crazy, insane "Yahtzee" thing REALLY gets Terri's juices flowing. . .
Macho and Liz. What wrestling fan hasn't heard these two names together? The two were really married . . . and really divorced. Like they say, "behind every guy is a great looking woman" ... I'm sure Lizzie-poo was good looking years ago. The two have been through a lot together, both in and out of the ring. I think that in some of the feuds between Savage and Flair with Flair having Liz while in the WWF they still were married, though don't hold me to that because I'm not too sure.
Like I said, I do kind of feel that couples should only be done in wrestling if it's relevant because then you might possibly take away from the careers of both parties, and that's never a good thing.

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There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
(Blessid Union of Souls "Light in Your Eyes")

King Of the Ring
King of the Ring 2k1 has already come and gone and Invasion is up for the end of the month. All sights are set for this Invasion PPV, but what everyone's seemed to forget is that Kurt Angle was thisclose to being the first-ever 2 time King of the Ring. Not only that, but it would have been two consecutive years.

Since the very first KOR, no one -- and I mean no one -- has won it twice, let alone one after the other. What this says is that it's extremely hard -- if not impossible -- to win KOR. Or at least, that's what it USED to say.

Rhyno, Edge, Christian, Angle. Rhyno the newcomer wasn't expected to win, which would leave Edge, Kurt and Christian. Then we thought that E&C would be in the finals and it'd eventually lead to a breakup. Well, we were half right on that one. But not many of us believed that the WWF would be dumb enough to have Kurt win again. No, it's not because I don't like him, but because it would make King of the Ring lose credibility as a major PPV event. After all, if Kurt can win twice, why can't Austin and Billy "Bitchcakes" Gunn?

Thankfully, the WWF chose the high road and to this date no one has been KOR twice. Yet.

See, the way I figure, if they had Kurt literally just thisclose to winning King of the Ring twice this year, what'll happen next year? Will Edge win again next year? Or will it be a repeat of this year?

If King of the Ring is one of the more prestigious titles that you can earn in the WWF, than there's no reason for anyone to win it twice. After all, wrestlers are MADE at KOR. Case in point: Steve Austin: "You can talk about your John 3:16 but Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!" Had it not been for that, the Era of 3:16 may have never happened. If a wrestler has to win King of the Ring twice because of his lack of popularity, than maybe him winning it the first time wasn't a good idea.

* * *
I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere unless we share with each other. We gotta start making changes, learn to see me as your brother instead of two distant strangers.
(Tupac "Changes")

Old vs. New
"Just take those old records off the shelf
I sit and listen to 'em by myself
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time Rock and Roll"

While Bob Seager's "Old Time Rock & Roll" doesn't actually have anything to do with wrestling, it does speak volumes about how it used to be.

Back in the day, heels and faces didn't -- and couldn't -- travel together for a multitude of reasons. One of these reasons was to protect the business; if the fans found out that the two top guys were, in reality, best friends, everyone would, quite frankly, be screwed: Why go watch two guys beat each other from pillar to post and back again when you know that after the show, they'll probably go get a beer or coffee?

Now, however, it's completely different. "Heels" and "faces" travel together, even if they're involved in a blockbuster feud. Hell, they even share the same locker room. We, the fans, even know that most of the guys are friends, and even if they're not, they all stick up for one another. Because even if Diamond Dallas Page and the Undertaker don't get along in real life, if the press starts slamming wrestling, they both take the heat.

But this brings up the question of whether or not the fans care that The Rock and Steve Austin may travel together. The simple answer is no. If we do care, we sure have a mightily strange way of showing it.

Then again, why should we care? I mean it's not like they let their friendship get n the way of their matches: They still beat each other senseless for the entertainment of thousands of blood thirsty fans.

You see, IT DOESN'T MATTER whether the heels and faces travel together or not. Today's fans, are, for the most part, a lot smarter than the fans of yesteryear. Hell, when was the last time you or I tried to stab Austin because we hate him so much? My point exactly.

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* * *
What would you do if your son was at home cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money and his daddy's gone so we're smoking rock now in and out of lock down I ain't got a job now so for you this is just a good time but for me this is what I call LIFE
(City High "What Would You Do")

Legends
The dictionary says that a legend is an extremely famous or notorious person, especially in a particular field.

Every sport has their legends: Nolan Ryan, Wayne Gretsky and Joe Namath, to name a few.

A legend makes it so that you want to be him for whatever reason. Be it the girls, the money, the fame, the pure love you have for the field. The legend glorifies the sport and makes it THE reason you watch -- or don't watch, in some cases.

In wrestling, many people will argue the fact of whether certain people are legends or why someone else isn't considered one. And yeah, while it may be true that some people don't become legends until after their death, there are many "living legends."

....
Terry Funk...Hulk Hogan...Ric Flair...Bret Hart...Shawn Michaels... Sting... Gorgeous George...Jimmy Snuka...Mick Foley.

The list goes on and on and on. By wrestling's standards, a legend redefined the sport; he helped make it what it is today. Because of this, there's absolutely positively not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that each and every one of those 9 guys I mentioned redefined the sport of wrestling and helped make it what it is today.

Gorgeous George, the man whom Paul Orndorff's gimmick was modeled after. Some may not know this, but we have Gorgeous George to thank for all the wrestling on TV nowadays. Had it not been for him, wrestling wouldn't have ever been on TV, as he was one of the main reasons it started being broadcast.

Bret & Shawn had and awesome feud, and the screwjob ending has probably set the stage for more screw jobs than we care to know about.

Jimmy Snuka probably set the standard for every high flyer there is in the sport. After all, it's because of him that Mick Foley became a wrestler.

Mick Foley and Terry Funk are the epitome of hardcore: scaffold matches, explosives, barbed wire, cages, tables, ladders, chairs. You name it, they've been there and done that.

Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and Sting. These three names have been atop the wrestling ladder for some 10+ years. Flair and Hogan have the combined experience equal to that of Sting's age, and though he;s had a lot less experience and is younger than the other two, he has proven time and time again that he can play with the big boys.

What makes one a legend? Is it his numerous, unbroken records? His fan popularity? His good looks and interviews? Or is it his work ethic; the fact that he gives 110% each and every time?

In my opinion, it's a combination of all these elements, though his work ethic is the most important. Because even a guy like X-Pac whom we all hate has respect, if only because he gives it his all each and every time he performs.

* * *
When the legends die, the dreams will die. When the dreams die, there is no greatness.

Mondays

8:00pm on Mondays used to mean something. Maybe not to you, to your neighbor's brother's girlfriend or to the homeless guy across the street and six houses down the road from your uncle's girlfriend's apartment. To these people it may not have meant anything, but to me it did.

Towards the end of the year in English I had to write an essay about something important to me. I could have written about anything: my first Sting poster; my stereo purchased with my own money; my great grandmother's watch; anything. I could have written about any of these, but did I? No. Instead, I chose to write about 8:00pm on Mondays and what they mean to me; why that particular time on that particular day is more important than any other.

My teacher not being a wrestling fan, I had to explain everything. I had to tell her about how even though it's only an hour, 8:00 and 9:00pm on Mondays are almost two completely different worlds. I explained how once it was 9:00 my father and I watched both Raw and Nitro; that watching wrestling is about as close to a bonding experience the two of us will ever share. Lastly, I explained that to me, wrestling is more than just "fat guys in thongs": I get as much excitement from it as that die-hard Patriots fan with the season tickets gets from watching them come thisclose.

There was a time when I wouldn't have any contact with the outside world after a certain time on a certain day. Now, I sometimes wonder if having no contact with the outside world an hour later on that same day is worth it. Besides, I can catch anything I miss that's important on Saturdays at 11:00am, can't I?

* * *

I'm too fuckin' good and fuckin' proud!
I'm gonna show you how bad it hurts to be a clown!
(Limp Bizkit, "Trust")

Why I like wrestling...

Shouts to my lil bro who turns 6 on 8/5..

Well, for once in God knows how long, the boys' head counselor at CGI of "Wusta" finally proved himself useful by asking me this one question: "Why do you like wrestling?"

I've been thinking about that since Tuesday. Seriously, why DO I like wrestling? Is it the bodies? The "grunts" (as Mickey D put it)? The women (Nope, sorry Mickey - I can definitely rule that one out)?

Since it isn't any of those things - what is it?

Like I said, I've been thinking about this since Tuesday and I think I've come up with an answer that, if nothing else, I'm satisfied with. I'm not too sure if I can get this across the way I'd like to so bear with me while I explain.

What I like about wrestling, or better yet, admire about wrestling, is something we may not necessarily see on TV. While I like the muscle factor, I think - and this probably sounds corny - I think what I like the most about wrestling is the athleticisim of it; the fact that every single person involved, from JR to Vince to the Fink to the wrestlers, gives us their best each and every night. I admire the fact that most of the wrestlers will still sign autographs after having some 20,000 people chanting their name, which has to be a major ego trip. I admire the fact that even if they're hurt, the wrestlers still go out in the ring each and every night and give their best - for us.

The do this for the fans; fans that have been called both the best for being o loyal to being called the worst for booing someone one night and cheering them the next. We've also been called bloodthirsty, but so are hockey fans and no one think twice about them. I can, however, in good faith that, that, to my knowledge, no wrestling fan has ever killed another because Austin won and not The Rock.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the thing I like the most about wrestling is...everything. Corny, I know. But so very true.

!$T@Y $TUNG!
~"Stone Cold"~

Don't be trippin' when you see us in the
club just show a little love and represent your side like me
(Jagged Edge f/ Nelly "Where Da Party At")

Well, I'm back from Raw & Smackdown

(Yes, I went to both!) and I know some people out there really care about what I think!

There really isn't much to write about today so these are just some random thoughts and such.

- From what I saw, Big Show's HUGE!

- Scotty 2 Hottie is definitely that!
- Edge & Christian are awesome and that KOR trophy is something else. - Reekasaurous Rex!
- Good Ol' J.R., Michael P.S. Hayes (aka Dok Hendrix) and Jonathan Coachman get standing O's while Michael Cole gets booed? Hmm...
-Who knew Paul Heyman and Raven were Jewish? I mean I knew about Raven but not Paul ...

- WWF pyro is beter than some of the July 4th pyro
- Please remember: No laser pointers or else you will be ejected! - To the guy at SmackDown: BUSTED! Dude, don't throw stuff so SOON (about 5 minutes into it; edited out though)!
- ALL NY & Boston fans: YANKEES SUCK! They may be in first place but it's all because of luck and you know it as well as I do
- Meat, you still suck!
- If I can be serious for a minute...Lance has never been better
-Austin! Austin! Austin! I don't care how predictable it was; it was still awesome!
-Kurt..."Friendly Lap" and "Friendly Tap" are two ENTIRELY different thing my friend...
- Heyman is just as ugly in person but there's something about him that just makes you wanna listen when he has the mic (OK so I'm the only one that feels this way but that ain't the point)
- Tommy Dreamer! 'nuff said
-RVD! The Whole Fucking Show could definitely put up a good fight against Jeff Hardy - let's see it! (At Invasion, we got it. And I was right)

- X-Pac's lack of heat is just as amazing in person as it is on TV - no one likes the guy
- Whether you love 'em or hate 'em, give the WWF credit: They put on one of hell of a show and it's obvious just how hard everyone involved works

* * *
Treat the son as you would the father, because one day the son will be the father
("The Chosen" by Chaim Potok)

Shawn Stasiak

Has certainly proved that being the son of someone great does in no way make you great.

The son of Stan "The Man" Stasiak whose move was a punch to the heart, has certainly stepped on a lot of toes to get to the same mid-card level that he was before he fucked up royally.

Shawn Stasiak used to have every male wrestling fan's dream job -- he hung out with Ivory and Jacqueline and probably got to see more cat fights than Jimmy Fitzwell's been in (BOOYAH!). He used to be Meat. He used to have an amazing physique (what's with that word?). Ah, but as we all know, if it seems too good to be true, it is. So too in the story of Meat. A story broke that Shawn "Meat" Stasiak had been fired from the World Wrestling Federation; he was taping conversations -- his and other people's.

So now he's out of a job with only one place to go: WCW. So they hire him, and now he's got a job. The only problem is that no one likes him anymore -- if they ever did. He joins the "new blood" team of the Natural Born Thrillers and wins some tag gold with Chuck Palumbo. Things seem to be looking up for one Shawn Stasiak. And then he breaks up with his team and becomes partners with Mark Jindrak.

But then WCW goes belly-up, and they're bought by WWFE, lock, stock, and barrel. All of us now assume -- and hope -- that Shawn Stasiak is out of a job -- for good. After all, why would Vince hire him back after what he did?

Now things really look grim for the Mecca of Manhood. Does he know how to do anything other than wrestle? Probably not.

But then, lo and behold, Shawn Stasiak shows up on WWF programming! Vince hired him back? Why?

Apparently, things have been forgiven . . . at least between Vince and Shawn, though I bet he's still on thin ice with a bunch of the boys in the back.

Which means that if he is indeed sorry, he must PROVE IT!

$T@Y $+UNG

Cool, calm, just like my mom With a couple of valium inside her palm It's Mr. Mischief with a trick up his sleeve To roll up on you like Christopher Reeves I can't describe the vibe I get When I drive by 6 people And 5 I hit Ah shit! I started a mosh pit, Squashed a bitch And stomped the foster kids
(D-12 f/Eminem, "Purple Pills")

Tough Enough:Part 2
I've touched on the subject before but it seems that I need to yet again.

It seems that Tazz, Al Snow and whoever else picked these 13 contestants picked the wrong ones: 4 have left, 2 got voted off. There are now only two girls left, which means that when one gets voted off (or leaves), the other is guaranteed to win.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think that's right. What if the female winner had turned out to be Bobby Jo, who was only using this a stepping stone to Playboy?

On the other hand (you have more fingers), I must say that I like the fact that Triple H, Kurt Angle and other wrestlers have been coming in to give them pep talks and help them. I think it shows that even though they play heartless SOBs on TV, in real life they have a true love for the business and everything involved; so much so that they're willing to go help out others trying to follow their dream.

Before I finish this up, I just need to come clean about something. We all know that the Alliance has said that the WWF will die and blah blah...Well..I believe that the WCW/ECW Alliance will bring the downfall of Vince McMahon and the WWF. With that said...JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

!$T@Y $TUNG!

If I could be like that
I would give anything
Just to live one day in those shoes
If I could be like that
What would I do
(3 Doors Down, "Be Like That")

RVD

To an ECW/WWF fan, say the name "Rob Van Dam" and a couple of things probably come to mind: highspot, Jerry Lynn, and Whole F'n Show.

While I agree that RVD, in order to full prove himself, must face opponents such as Kane, you can't deny the fact that he is an amazing in-ring performer.

His recent matches with Jeff Hardy have elevated both performers. Though Jeff Hardy lost his Hardcore Championship to Van Dam, the two of them pulled out all the stops. Jeff Hardy has begun to prove himself as a singles competitor, and RVD is currently the only member of the ECW/WCW Alliance to get cheered.

During his ECW tenure, The Whole F'n Show was TV Champ for a record 23 months, which surely would have lasted longer had he not broken his leg.

He had many memorable matches, namely with Jerry "The NEW F'n Show" Lynn. The feud between the two (though Chase more than likely disagrees) was amazing.

Van Dam has shown time and time again that not only is he extremely agile, but he also has an amazing repertoire of moves. I'm sure someone out there disagrees with me, but there aren't too many people who can get elevation on the Frog Splash and do a Van Terminator quite like Van Dam can.

While Mr. Monday Night has impressed quite a few fans, skeptics and critics, he still has more work ahead of him. He has certainly proven that he can hang with the cruiserweights, but can he go with the "big boys"? We'll have to wait and see.

$T@Y $+UNG & JOIN THE REVOLUTION

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change
(Train, "Drops of Jupiter")

Pressure
pressure (n): urgent demands on one's time or strength; the oppressive influence or depressing effect of something hard to bear

Wrestlers have always been under a lot of pressure. They have autograph signings, TV appearances, films, possibly meetings with creative control, not to mention the pressure of performing in front of thousands of fans daily.

anabolic steroid (n): any of a group of synthetic hormones that increase constructive metabolism and are sometimes abused by athletes in training to increase temporarily the size of their muscles

Steroid use (and abuse) is as common in wrestling as it is in any other sport.

Because of all the pressure of being in the public eye, many athletes, wrestlers included, resort to using steroids to help them build muscle. In the world of sports, homerun hitter Mark McGwire is probably known for his homeruns as well as his use of creatine, which is allowed by the MLB association.

As for wrestlers, many people have used them: Hulk Hogan (while in the WWF), Sting (early 80's), and probably most recently, Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner.

Although most people know this, steroids have fatal effects when use turns to abuse.

Hogan's sunken-in face? Steroids. Scott Steiner's scary-as-hell veins? Steroids, even though he claims otherwise. If that's the case, how does he explain the fact that he went from being built one week to being "genetically jacked" a few weeks later? Even if he was spending every second of spare time in the gym, there's no way he could have gotten that big that fast.

I don't mean to sound all preachy and everything, but in a way I can see how the steroids help. With all the other things they're doing, it's probably difficult to get adequate time in the gym. At the same time, they have an "image" to keep up. So they take steroids. And then they get caught, or someone they know dies from them. And they quit..and then it happens all over again...(note: I actually don't have an ending for this..)

$T@Y $+UNG

Necessary to medicate
I'm not sleeping can't stay awake
Can't see through this
Too much pressure
Drowning in this
(Staind, "Pressure")

I've Learned
In my 15 years, I've learned lots of things: How to read, write, talk, my ABC's...But that's not what I'm talking about. Just like when actually watching wrestling, you may have to let your imagination run wild when reading these things that the wonderful world of wrestling has taught me:

I've Learned -
To believe in miracles. It is, in fact, quite possible to be out cold and on a stretcher one minute and then destroying people the next. "Oh My God! It's a miracle! He's cured!"

I've Learned -
That it's possible to inflict pain on someone without actually coming close to touching them. As in, swinging wildly and STILL having them fall to the ground in agony when I didn't harm a hair on their head. "Look at the impact that had!"

I've Learned -
That no matter who you are or where you are, it will ALWAYS take at least 45 minutes to get to the building from around the corner. Always. "The anticipation is mounting."

I've Learned -
That some people will NEVER care about what your name is...and some will try to imitate others...and that there are some people out there who just plain outright SUCK!

And finally, I've Learned -
That when you've already kicked a guy's ass years ago, if he challenges you again, he's gonna try to set you on fire.

$T@Y $+UNG

"You wait and see when the smoke clears: You live, You learn, You love, You learn, You cry, You learn, You lose, You learn, You bleed, You learn, You scream, You learn"
(Alanis Morissette, "You Learn")

New Stuff
Well, it's been almost a month since I've written something new. See, I hand-write these and keep 'em in a "way cool" notebook with a green cover. That way, when I'm at school and I get an idea, *poof*, I take out my "handy dandy" notebook and write it. Basically, everything you've read in the past month or so had been written while prepping for school, knowing that things would get a wee-bit crazy. But today, I present to you NEW STUFF, which was written on 9/8. Before I begin, I'd like to insert my one shoutout here, just because if I don't get this off my chest soon, I will be reduced to tears... Scott - I know you're more than likely not reading this. I know you may not even care. But there's something I gotta tell you: I know you're with Gina; doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. But I want you to know that your friendship to me is amazingly important. Hey, remember Partners in Weird..and the $42 bill at Friendlys? LOL..those were some good times my buddy. Basically I just want you to know that if you're happy, I'm happy...and I'll alwayz be here for you. Oh yah..and stop corrupting Tim. LOLz.

Now that everyone knows what's up and I've gotten the mushy stuff outta the way...

Though I've been sick for the past week or so, what I have seen of Raw/Smackdown have kinda..how do I say this...SUCKED.

I must say that I kinda like Excess...though it should probably be on an hour earlier.

RVD seems to be riding a small wave of success with the Alliance...hopefully this will lead to some better gold around his waist than the Hardcore Title.

Undertaker needs to find someone else to feud with besides DDP. That, or continue the feud but get Kim in the picture and have her bust Page's ass for the thing with Sara.

And now, for something I've wanted to write about for the longest time:

Is it just me, or does WWF TV seem to be missing someone who's about 6'3", 260 pounds...multi-time champion, fan favorite...oh yeah, and on WCW's side? If, for some reason, you've yet to figure out whom I have in mind, here's you final clue: He was in the made-for-TV TBS movie with Daisy Fuentes called "ShutterSpeed." Figured it out yet? Hopefully, you have. The male in question is the one and only Steve "Sting" Borden (for those who care..when I wrote it out, it was "Steve" Sting Borden).

I know he's said countless times that he won't work for Vince McMahon due to all the sexual content and double innuendoes, but isn't the credo of wrestling "Never say never?" If that's the case, that means that there's always the possibility, no matter how slight it may be, that Steve will work for the WWF.

Because the way I see it, it all goes back to Adam Smith and his law of supply and demand (talk about reading for understanding, LOL). Basically, if the fans want Sting back that bad (demand), he may even agree to one of those "one-time-only" appearances that usually include more than the agreed to appearance (supply).

OK...so my example probably wasn't exactly what Adam Smith had in mind when he came up with the law of supply and demand, but now we all know that I read for understanding, just like Mr. Mac said to. I'm also pretty sure where the idea for "Mean Mark Callous" came from, but that's a whole 'nother story.

Thanx for reading and remember one thing:
DON'T SMOKE WEED IT'S BAD 4 U!

$T@Y $+UNG

Her boyfriend
He don't know
Anything
About her
He's too stoned
Nintendo
I wish that I could make her see
She's just the Flavor of The Week
(American Hi-fi, "Flavor of The Week")

Vince's Monopoly
According to Mr. Mac (In case you haven't quite figured it out yet, Mr. Mac's my WH2 teacher), a monopoly is basically when one company holds all the cards and no other smaller company can afford to stay in business because the bigger one just has SO MUCH money.

He said that the government doesn't allow monopolies of any sort, even though it's a natural occurrence that's bound to happen. This got me thinking: If Bill Gates might have to break up Microsoft, is anyone going to slap Vince McMahon with yet another lawsuit and tell him he needs to split up the WWF because it's too large of a company?

Thinking about it, I say no. Because (again, from Mr. Mac) the Bush regime isn't forcing Microsoft to break up, so why are they going to force Vince to do so? After all, if Bill Gates is the richest man in America, Vince McMahon can't be too far behind, can he?

On the other hand, what if they DID make McMahon split up the WWF? Would he just do the obvious and make a WWF and a WCW, each of their own entity?

Or would he, like Gates, try to fight it by saying that a monopoly is a natural occurrence and it's bound to happen anyway, irregardless of what the government does to prevent it?

I know you're tired of hearing/reading this guy's name, but I understand this stuff and it makes total sense to me so THERE! :-P

Adam Smith had a phrase. In French, it's "Laissez faire." In English, it means "leave alone." As in, the government should leave the "marketplace" alone, because it can run on its own.

$t@y $+ung and STAY SAFE

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more
(Kansas, "Carry On My Wayward Son")

Catchphrases
"Who in the blue hell are you?"
"What? What?"
"I'm Rob Van Dam!"
"Would you please just shut the hell up!"
"That ring - it's my yard"
"If ya smell what The Rock is cookin'"

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. I have just cut for you what may possibly be the best damn promo that you have ever seen.

I know I've done this before, but with the recent influx (Ooh I used a big word!) of both more mic time and more wrestlers, it seems like this is calling to be done again.

As usual, we've got pretty much the same "core group," if you will, of wrestlers: Austin, Rocky and Y2J. But, since ECW and WCW have joined forces against the WWF since the last time we kicked it, the catchphrases have changed a bit.

We have now added Booker T, Undertaker and RVD, to name a few. Then, of course, we've got Lance Storm, The Rock, Stone Cold and Chris Jericho.

Apparently, Lance Storm feels that there should be "no offbeat shenanigans" allowed in "my yard" because it takes away from the awesomeness that wrestling reeks of.

While Booker T is trying to convince us that he cooks better than The Rock, The Rock, Stone Cold and Rob Van Dam have all been having their own war of words.

Rob Van Dam has continuously had to remind Stone Cold just who, in fact, he is, by saying, "I'm Rob Van Dam!" Austin's reply of "What? What?" leads one to believe that "Good Ole Stone Cold" may be going deaf. And, of course, we've got the Rock askin' anyone and everyone, "Who in the blue hell are you?" Just when the person starts to answer, The Rock, rude as he's ever been, besmirches said person and tells them that it "doesn't matter who you are!"

Personally, I think that maybe The Rock came down with a bad case of amnesia during his 4-month absence. And I think Austin's going deaf. After all...what else could possibly explain their behavior?

$T@Y $+UNG

You can say I’m plain Jane but it's not the same
I ain't in to big names but I like nice things
I watch boxing matches and uh football games
I wouldn't mind being an actress but I love to sing
I like going out, takin walks & stuff
I don't round that many girls cause they talk too much
I enjoy quiet nights at home cause I'm next to ya
Though I ain't a virgin that don't mean I'm havin sex wit ya
(City High, "Caramel")

Injuries
An injury can make or break one's career -- in any field. For example, if you have neck surgery and are unable to go back to work for 3 months, more than likely, your job won't be there waiting for you. In fact, in 3 months, you'll probably be looking for a job because your position got filled.

Such is the case with wrestling. Over the past 5 or 6 months, just about everyone has either been out due to an injury or made a comeback from the injury.

Injuries, as both DDP and Stone Cold found out the hard way, can either make or break your career. In both cases, they were "let go" while rehabbing. Austin, by "Uncle" Eric Bischoff, and Page by Bill Watts.

Also in both cases, it ended up being a good thing...in the long run. After all, once they got fired, both guys decided that from that point on, their gimmicks would be based on their real-life personalities.

Would Austin have become "Stone Cold" if EZ-E hadn't let him go?

Probably not, though not so much because Eric was unable to think of the idea as much as "Stone Cold" wasn't really what WCW was looking for at the time.

Would DDP have become "The People's Champ?"

That's arguable, if only because it's the people that made Page their champ.

Both Stone Cold and Diamond Dallas Page were designed to be heels. Both were supposed to get booed out of the building. And, in case you haven't noticed, that didn't quite work out the way it was planned.

Even now, with Austin being in the Alliance, the people love him. Even the ones who boo him probably love him. No one can quite put their finger on it, but there's something about Steve Austin that people (except Hitman97) love. And they cheer him for that.

As for Page, when he first started, he was "bling-blingin'" and "rocking that ice" (in English: wearing lots of jewelry). In this case, it probably was his work ethic that people respected -- and cheered him for that.

I am number one
No matter if you like it
Now take this down and write it
I am number one
Now lemme ask Germaine:
What does it take to be number one?
2 is not a winner and 3 nobody remembers
What does it take to be number one?
(Nelly, "Number One")

Favorites
Oh wow. I have some shout outs . . . and this time I PROMISE they ain't mushy:
Adam - "J...R...B"
Laura - PLEASE will you buy me pizza? LOL
Justin - I need money dude! And for the record you owe me $30 so far LOL

* * *

Ask most people who their favorite wrestler is, and you are guaranteed to get a different answer from each person you ask. The question today, however, is not who your favorite wrestler is but WHY you like this person.

Everyone knows my favorite wrestler is Sting. He's been my favorite since I was three years old. I think most people know this story because I love telling it, but when I was 5 I wrote to Sting and invited him to my birthday party. He wrote back and said that he was sorry he couldn't come because he had to be in South Carolina to wrestle Van Vader.

To be honest, when I was 5, I don't know why I liked Sting. There was just something about him that I liked immediately. Now, at age 15, the truth is that I still don't know why I like Sting. Everytime someone's asked me to explain it or I've tried to write it, I've drawn a complete blank.

I mean yeah, maybe his look have something to do with it. But looks are such an integral part of our everyday life that when you like someone, everyone automatically assumes that you're friends with said person because they're good looking.

I've been thinking about this for quite some time now, and I think I may have figured out some of why I like Sting so much.

It's not because of his looks, it's not because of his money and it's not because of his won-loss record. The reason why I like Sting is because he's Steve Borden. He takes time out of his schedule to go visit deathly ill children whose one wish is to meet him. He donates money to charities, and when he has a personal appearance, he often stays for longer than the scheduled time. He realizes that he has loads of money because of US - the fans. He realizes that the fans determine whether or not you are successful in this business. He realizes that even though he puts "asses in the seats," if the fans don't want to see you, it doesn't matter who you are because they ain't gonna go.

So now I've answered the 12 year old question. I've told everyone why I like my fave. So...why do you like yours?

Can't leave rap alone the game needs me
Haters want me clapped and chromed it ain't easy
Cops wanna knock me, DA wanna box me in
But somehow, I beat them charges like Rocky
H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
Not guilty, he who does not feel me is not real to me
Therefore he doesn't exist
So poof...vamoose son of a bitch
(Jay-Z, "Izzo H.O.V.A.")

In Loving Memory
With the events that have happened recently, I figured that this would be appropriate . . .

* Brian Pillman - 1962-1967
"They say for each door God closes, that He opens another one. Brian is flyin' with the angels now. Goodbye, brother. Leave some passes at the gate." - Bret Hart
-- arteriosclerotic heart disease

* Owen Hart - 1965-1999
"Owen probably was one of the best human beings I have ever met. I know his family meant everything to him. I can only imagine the grief they are going through now." - Kevin Nash
-- 50 foot fall while performing

* "Gentleman" Chris Adams - 1955-2001
Trained Stone Cold Steve Austin
-- shot in Waxahachie, TX

* Yokozuna - 1966-2000 Rodney Anoia
-- heart attack in London

* Andre the Giant - 1946-1993
Anything the other guys could do, Andre thought he should also.
-- heart attack

* Junkyard Dog - 1953-1998
- single vehicle accident on the way home from his daughter's graduation after falling asleep at the wheel

* "Ravishing" Rick Rude - 1959-1999
"What I'd like to have right now is for all you fat, out of shape meatballs to shut up while I take off my robe and show you what a REAL man looks like!"
-- heart attack

I know these 6 wrestlers listen only represent a small cross section of all the wrestlers who have left us while still on top of their game.

Many of these guys had wives and children who will now have to go through the rest of their lives with merely the memories, though some of their children were so young, they probably don't remember them at all.

It's kinda hard with you not around
I know you're in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Until the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed,
the strength I need to believe
My thoughts, big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
I'd give anything to hear half your breath
I know you're still living your life after death
(Puff Daddy, "I'll Be Missing You")

(*Karma note:Links provided to Retro and other tributes for these fallen Superstars)

30 Years From Now
"30 years from now, it won't matter what shoes you wore, how your hair looked or what jeans you bought. What will matter is who your favorite wrestler was."

So maybe that's not quite the way the quote goes ... but it's true.

Think about it: What's the first question you ask a wrestling fan when you first meet them? It's not "How long have you been watching?", nor is it "What's your favorite fed?". You ask this person who their favorite wrestler is.

Why this is, I really don't know. I suppose it's because you can tell some stuff about a person by what their answer is. For example, if someone says The Rock is their favorite wrestler, you can probably assume one of two things to be true: either they haven't been watching wrestling for very long, or they think that he's actually a good wrestler...all the time. If someone says a Hardy, you can probably assume that they only watch for the hot guys (like someone I know).

All joking aside though, why do we care so much about whether someone else likes Austin or Rocky better? Because, if you think about it, it doesn't matter who we like...the wrestlers don't really care whether we like one over another. Well, maybe that came out wrong...They care because us liking or disliking them can make or break their careers, and I'm sure they're flattered when someone says "You're my favorite wrestler" to them. But, when it comes right down to it, when you buy that wrestling ticket to see Steve Austin face Rob Van Dam, no matter who you like better, they've accomplished what they set out to do: they made you go out at 3am the day the tickets go on sale so you could be the first one in line just to go see them fight. And once you go one time, it's almost a given that you're gonna go again. And then maybe even a third time.

By this point, they've got themselves a repeat customer. So now, even you didn't originally watch wrestling that much, if you know there's a chance that you're gonna go see them live, you're gonna watch Raw and Smackdown so you know what's going on. Because after all, who would wanna miss the WHOLE FUCKING SHOW?

$T@Y $+UNG

I might be in Chuck T's, or the chuckers
And if you duck cheese I'ma fuck her,
Duck these motherfucker
Ghetto Fabolous, nigga I ride 'til I die
Hollerin 1-8-7 when I ride through the Stuy, fool
(Fabolous feat. Nate Dogg, "Can't Deny It")

Work Ethic
I'm sick...but I absolutely refuse to wear a winter coat until there's some snow on the ground. That's a New Englander thing.

I'm sick, feel horrible, and probably look just as bad as I feel, but I'm still going to school. That's worth ethic.

The Undertaker's injured again. Not as bad as last time, but he's still hurting. And yet he still shows up for work everyday. That's work ethic.

Andruzzi from the Pats is injured. Badly. He wraps himself up, puts on his pads, and gives it 110%. Some other guy on the team (don't remember his name) is also injured. He shows up for work but doesn't do anything; doesn't even try. That's not work ethic.

I bring this up not because I want to make the point that even though the Pats kinda suck, there's still some people trying their hardest and giving their all. Nor do I bring this up because it was really cold the other day. In fact, the reason why I brought this up isn't necessarily anything wrestling related. I've brought this up because there are so many people out there, in every occupation, who are going through God knows what, but still manage to come to work and do their jobs.

Take, for example (and maybe you're tired of hearing about these people), the NYFD. I can guarantee you that at least one of them is going through divorce, child custody hearings, whatever. And yet, no matter what was going on before September 11, when that call came, they went, They went and did -- are doing -- their job. They didn't take their anger out on others. Why? Not because they needed the money that day. They went because that's their job -- they do whatever they have to, wherever and whenever they have to.

Perhaps some of our favorite wrestlers can learn from these people. I'm not saying that everyone should pull a Triple H and continue the match, even when you know something's wrong. All I'm saying is that maybe, just maybe, if certain wrestlers took more pride in their work and didn't take time off for every injury, they might get some of the respect they deserve, from fans and non fans alike.

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"
(Nickelback, "How You Remind Me")

Never a Better Time
There has never been a better time to be a wrestling fan. Between Heyman's earth-shattering speech on Thursday, 11/15, to Survivor Series with Jeff Hardy creating sawdust out of a table, to Angle screwing the Alliance over. Then on Raw with Heyman's firing, JR kicking Paul's ass, The King taking his rightful place at the announce table back, Regal kissing ass and... RIC FLAIR'S RETURN. Whoo! What? I do believe that Austin's watch is saying, "Whoo! What? What?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the original limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin', dealin' son of a gun is back. That's right; Ric Flair is BACK!

Though it was surprising, there are some people who are acting like there was no way it would ever happen. To them, I ask what they expected? I mean come on, they were in CHARLOTTE; Flair's hometown. OF COURSE he was gonna show up in some way, shape or form.

Let me backtrack just a little, though. On Thursday the 15th, Paul Heyman delivered and earth-shattering speech. He spoke about how Vince used everyone else to become a billionaire; that he even took Paul's ideas and used them as his own.

Then, Sunday, at Survivor Series, we have the Alliance facing the WWF in a winner take all match.

But first, in a tag title unification match, we have Hardyz and Dudleyz in a 15 foot cage. The winner gets a job, regardless of which side wins later on in the night. In what may possibly be his dumbest move yet, Jeff Hardy climbs up to the top of the cage and is forced to decide between climbing out and winning or the adrenaline rush. Choosing the latter, he attempts a Swanton Bomb onto a Dudley through a table and misses, making sawdust, and costing the Hardyz the tag belts.

Now to the match of the night. It's down to The Rock and Austin; two refs have been laid out like last night's laundry and both men are giving their all. Austin has a pin, but the ref is out so he goes to get him. Angle runs in and CLOCKS AUSTIN WITH THE BELT! The Rock hits the Rock Bottom, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Back to Raw. After Flair came out and informed Vince that the two are now business partners, Austin comes out. After getting his ass whipped, Angle leaves with Vince, while Flair and Austin have some Steveweisers.

GOD I LOVE WRESTLING!

I make punk rock
And I mix it with the hip hop
I getcha higher than a tree top
U wanna roll wit the Kid Rock
I make southern rock
And I mix it with the hip hop
I got money like Fort Knox
I'll forever be the Kid Rock
Forever
(Kid Rock, "Forever")

Happy December!
Or is it Happy Spring? I'm so confused...

Scott - you know me better than I know myself. You're my best friend, and for that, I love you.

Laura - You're my best friend too..My boyfriend, actually. LoL!

Now on to business. For those who may actually care, I sat down to write this, and couldn't think of a goddamned thing to write about. I mean the past 2 weeks have been great to be a wrestling fan, but everyone's already written about everything that's happened, and I sure don't want to devote a whole column to Vince's white ass.

So I got to thinking...what can I write about?

I couldn't think of anything, so I went online (there's a stretch for me, huh? LoL), read The Ross Report, Droz' Two Cents, and my archives (boredom/homeworkitis). And then I got an idea: Tradition. Oh, but I've done already, huh? Not this way...read on.

As I've said before, tradition is the knowledge, doctrines and customs transmitted from generation to generation. Tradition is also the transmission of such knowledge.

Last time I wrote about tradition, I said that The Rock "layin' the Smackdown" may or may not be tradition in 20 years. While I stand by my statement, I think that I should have mentioned the fact that The Rock COMES from tradition; his father and his grandfather were WWF stars in their own right.

You see, The Rock already has in his hands the tradition that we all talk about. He already has the precious knowledge that few possess and all clamor for. What he chooses to do with that knowledge, however, will determine how we remember The Rock in 20 years. There is no doubt in my mind that The Rock will be remembered. But what does he want to be remembered for? The guy with the good catchphrases? Or the youngest WWF Champ? The very first UNDISPUTED Heavyweight Champion? Or the guy who couldn't get the job done?

$T@Y S+ung

Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time
So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(Creed, "My Own Prison")

Y2K-1
The year 2001 will forever be known as one of the greatest years in wrestling.

With ECW looking strong and WCW suddenly being taken by the helm by people who knew what they were doing, it looked like the WWF would soon lose their #1 position. But then things took a turn for the worse: ECW began going bankrupt, WCW's boss changed on a seemingly daily basis.

As if that wasn't bad enough, suddenly, ECW wrestlers were popping up left and right on WWF TV.

Ah, yes, and then there was that fateful night back on March 26, in Panama City, Florida. The very last Nitro; The Night of Champions. In the main event we had the two who may have started it all for WCW: "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair and Sting.

On this night however, the winner was not important. Yes, it was rumored to be both men's final matches, but that is not what will make the day live on in infamy.

On March 26, 2001, Shane McMahon bought WCW out from under Vince McMahon viz simulcast. Needless to say, both the crowds in Florida and the WWF were shocked.

Next, Paul Heyman tells us that Stephanie McMahon-Helmsely owns ECW. The WCW and ECW are now an Alliance; a coalition focused on destroying the WWF and putting the "sport" back in "sports entertainment."

For months, the Alliance wreaked havoc on the WWF: winning their titles and interfering in their matches.

Then at WrestleMania, we had Stone Cold Steve Austin join the Alliance! WHAT? We also had The Rock announce that he'd be in the WWF....forever.

That started the ball rolling. Austin leading the Alliance, while Shane, Paul and Steph ran their mouths; though Austin did his fair share of talking as well.

RVD won the Hardcore Title, and held it for longer than anyone, just recently losing it to The Undertaker.

Then comes the next shocker. At Invasion, Vince challenges his children Shane and Stephanie to a match. A 5-on-5, winner take all match. But, Vince also added, there was an ECW/WCW star who was going to turn his back on the Alliance and go back home to WWF.

This started an Austin-investigation of everyone, including the infamous "What?" and "Do you know what my watch is saying?" (I've never heard that watch talk." "Shut up!"), which lead to a lack of trust problem within the Alliance.

No matter, however, for on this night, the WWF was the sole victor.

On the Raw before No Mercy, we were treated to a duet of "Margaritaville," sung by The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin ("Some people claim that there's a Rocky to blame but I know it's Stone Cold's fault").

We also saw the firing of Paul Heyman and the return of Jerry "The King" Lawler.

But, no, that is not the biggest thing of the year. In fact, the biggest, most monumental thing to take place this year happened....weeks ago.

You see, when Shane and Steph sold their WWF stock, they sold it to a consortium. Though at the time no one knew - and, for that matter, really cared - who the consortium was, it was earth-shattering news when we found out.

Ladies and gentlemen, that consortium was none other than "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Whoo!

Now that Flair and Vince are business partners - 50/50 each -- they consult on everything. So much so that just a few days ago, the two yet again made history.

At Vengeance, Flair wanted to crown an undisputed heavyweight champion. So, Flair says, let's have Austin face The Rock, title against title. The winner of this match will be the undisputed wrestling champion. While Vince likes this idea, he has a better one. Let's have Austin face Angle and The Rock face "Y2J" Chris Jericho. The winners of these matches will fight each other THAT SAME NIGHT, and the winner will be our undisputed champ.

Austin defeated Angle, Y2J defeated The Rock...with help. Right after Y2J won, the glass shattered and Austin came out. But, UHOH, Austin got hit in the head with a chair. After much help and great work from both men, Y2J pulled off a victory, becoming the FIRST EVER undisputed champion.

This year, we've also had the Dudleyz become the undisputed tag champions, as well as being the only team to hold WCW, ECW and WWF tag gold; The Undertaker and Kane were the first team to simultaneously hold both WCW and WWF tag belts. We've also just recently seen 7 time tag team champions Edge and Christian break up, as well as the Hardyz; Matt and Lita just called their relationship quits.

The one thing I love about wrestling is its unpredictability. Who'da thunk that Vince would buy WCW? That ECW would merely be a distant memory? And most of all, who'da thunk that Chris Jericho could win THE BIG ONE and be the first ever undisputed champion of the world?

$tay $+ung and have a happy new year!
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory
(Linkin Park, "In The End")

Happy New Year!
I hadn't planned on writing anything new til '02 (hey I rhymed!), but I got to thinking: My friend are always there for me, whenever I need them. What follows is the "hugest" list of shout outs I could come up with. If you don't wanna read it, don't. Go check out the rest of Hitman's poll or something.

"Friends don't owe; they do 'cause they wanna do."

Scott - We've barely known each other for a year and we've been through so much. The $40 bill at Friendly's..my sister catching us..me & Jeff finally meeting..the most degenerate couple mom's ever seen..that trip to Vegas that we should really take. We've been through so much and you don't even know how much you've helped me. You're one of my best friends and I love you for that. Please don't ever change!

Jill - SPROUT! ::choke:: Juvy Boy standing us up..Doesn't Aaron look like Nick?..You don't know where Scott's ring has been..Beauty fades, stumpy-ness is for life..Eddie!

Laura - Only known each other for like what...5 months? And we've done how much?.."Look at the fucking sign Justin!" "Hey watch your mouth!" "How? Take my fuckin' eyeballs out, turn 'em around?"..Will you buy me pizza?..Well if I hadn't spent it all on my kid..Do you have a lighter?..tripping people..taking their hats..JUVY BOY getting high..Gina Sux!..Backstreet Boys are gay..Does Aniss work here?..Chicken nuggets..LOL love ya hun!

Hitman - Funny thtorieth..Britney Spears/my sister..Adam #3 :)

Paul - Haven't known you very long at all..Chicken nuggets/tenders..vagina..testes..YOU ONLY HAVE HALF THAT ROOM..tying up phone lines..we needa meet!

Chrissy - What can I say about you? hehe..Jesse the Transsexual Hermaphrodite Kangaroo..wait..how can you be transexual and a hermaphrodite?...not my problem..Fire alarms..Yeah we stretched our hands down the hall and around the corner, right?..Cheating on that history test..how'd you do better than I did?..BIOLOGY..blah..You call her Berky I'll call you Jesse..OK it'll never happen again..Garcia really did let us get away with murder..that 5 minute detention!..Whoreback..Gina sux (common trend)..Still grounded?

Luis - MistahSlick..oh wow, what can I possibly say that I haven't already told you?..You give the greatest advice..Sonia..Christine..Me.."Joe" called..trying to figure out Scott..MIKE PIZZA!..Luis & Sonia 4ever..Never ever change.

Mike - Angel..You're so amazingly cool..Gina sux (how many times was that now?)..advice, advice, advice.

Mickey D - CGI Worcester, 'nuff said..Why do you like wrestling?..SEX..kinky.."did you know today's a fast day?".."Umm no?"..Ladies, Mickey's single and ready to mingle! E-mail me if you're interested! (See, I said I'd help you find one!)

L.H. - You're not reading this and I'm not showing it to you because I hate you. You try to chop me down with your words, but it ain't gonna work. You're merely bringing out the best in me and making me realize why I'm the better person.

K & Bob - I probably don't talk to you guys as much as I'd like to you but I know you're always there. The greatest thing about you guys is the fact that you always love my writing. LOL, thanx for being honest!

So this had absolutely nothing to do with wrestling. You'll live, believe me. Yeah, it was all shout outs, but sometimes people need to be reminded of why you love them so much :)

Happy New Year!

$t@y $+ung
-Heather-

SoMe PeoPLe CLaiM THaT THeRe'S a RoCKy To BLaMe BuT i KNoW iT'S SToNe CoLD'S FauLT

I Miss Nitro!
So it's 8:00pm on Jan. 7 and I'm waiting for RAW to start. Only problem is that I've got another 57 minutes to kill. And that's when it hits me: I miss Nitro.

Nevermind the fact that I've made it so no one usually calls me after 8 on a Monday night: if it bothered me that much, I'd do something about it.

Actually, I don't really know how to describe this feeling...I guess maybe for the years that Nitro was on, my mind kinda got used to the whole wrestling at 8 thing. Or maybe it's the fact that I genuinely miss WCW Monday Nitro.

Sure, me and the "Mexican Jumping Beans" like Psicosis and Juvi Juice never really liked each other...but I saw them wrestle SO MANY TIMES that it just got boring. But the upside is that I know the difference between a "face full of stuff" and a "bronco buster."

But that's not the point. The point is that I miss hearing Heenan, Schiavone & Tenay bicker back and forth. I miss Mean Gene talking smack. Shit, I miss ring announcer Dave Penzer. Larry Land. Maybe even Russo...nah, scratch that. I don't miss him yet. I even miss THE NITRO GIRLS.

OK, so I'm a MAJOR WCW mark.

Sue me.

$tay $+ung!
I'm sorry, Miss Jackson
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologized a trillion times
(Outkast, "Ms. Jackson")

College Wrestling Fans
College wrestling fans have got to be the most naive people I've ever come across.

The other day (or a few weeks ago..), I had this one guy try to convince me that Nash and/or Hall was going to return without the other. Truth be told, they're more than likely only going to return one way: together.

Then, while we were talking about how good Triple H looks, he tried to convince me that this was due to steroids. My friend, I have a question for you: What do you think is going to happen when you spend 6+ hours a DAY for 8 MONTHS rehabbing from an injury? Believe me, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

And yet, I'm supposed to be the naive one. To quote DDP, I don't think so.

Before I finish, I just want to remind everyone that most of these Internet "reporters" are actually 13 year old little boys with way too much time on their hands and nothing better to do.

Stay Stung! WHAT?

I felt the arrow from death's fatal quiver
Come so close it actually grazed me
I bled the blood and I've felt the cold shiver
God only knows how He saved me
There's 2 dates in time that they'll carve on your stone
And everyone knows what they mean
What's more important is the time that is known
In that little dash there in between
(Garth Brooks, "Pushing Up Daisies")

It's the day before No Way Out,
And I'm extremely excited. No, not because this kid at bowling looked at me crazy when I told him to call Chris, and no, not because I'm going to SmackDown tapings in about 9 days (February 26). Actually, I'm excited because No Way Out marks the return of the three people that spearheaded WWF Attitude. I'm talking about Hall, Nash and Hogan, better known as the nWo.

Just because I've officially jumped on nWo bandwagon doesn't mean I don't have any bones to pick with my creative writers at the WWF....

Before we get into how the WWF decided to bring in the nWo, I'd like to know why there are nWo shirts at wwfshopzone.com. Does the WWF not realize that most of their fans already HAVE nWo shirts? Don't even deny it, you KNOW that you're channel flippin' self went out and bought at least ONE nWo shirt back in the glory days. But that in itself isn't too big of a deal, cause there's probably a few people out there who didn't get one.

The real problem, however, is the way my buddy Vinnie Mac has chosen to bring in the bad boys of the nWo. Wouldn't it have been better if Vince told Flair that if he didn't sell his 50% back than he'd bring in the nWo, but then NOT TELL US WHEN? Of course it would have, but this is Vince McMahon we're talking about. Instead, when Ric Flair refuses to sell the stock back, Vince says, "OK, well that at No Way Out, I'm going to inject the poison of the nWo!"

Well, that's great Vince, but it may have been better for you not to give away the secret. 'Cause sure, anyone with half a brain can see that No Way Out = nWo, but then we would have bought the PPV and been left wondering IF and WHEN they're going to show up.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I said, I'm amazingly excited to see the return of the Outsiders and Hogan. I just think that Vince and his "hommies" could have done a better of job of bringing them in. But hey...beggars can't be choosers, so bring in the nWo and find some way for them to wreak havoc on the WWF.

Stay Stung and remember ...
when you're nWo, you're nWo 4 Life!

Yes, I get it poppin', 'specially overseas
Japanese girls even love my beat
They say, "Timbaland, we love you!
We love the dope things that you do"
Even in London they say, "Tim, we love ya"
They even call me things like wicked and the f'n governor
That's why I can't forget y'all
That's why I had to make this roll call
(Timbaland & Magoo, "Roll Call")

If anybody has questionz, comments or suggestionz, feel free to Email me

Until next time, Say Stung, and remember that Fear Is Only A Four Letter Word.

Read Heathers interview with Sting!